Our Final Goodbyes

Date: 10/24/2018

These are two dreams I actually had many years ago. They both happened very soon after my cousin, Becca, died. I think she may have been early twenties then and I was even younger. I’m currently 31. Anyway, the first dream was as follows: I remember walking to my home from my Grandparents’ house. It was a cold, winter night and there was snow covering the ground. The sky was completely clear though. I remember the moon being bright and full. As I neared my house, I saw Becca standing out in the driveway next to her parents’ car. While my aunt and uncle waited in the car. I remember walking up to Becca where I then hugged her. I held on to her for as long as I could. Finally, with calm and reassuring voice, she said to me, “I need to go now”. Then, she left. Dream two: I recall being with all my cousins, Becca included, at my grandparents’ house. We were all getting excited and preparing to go somewhere. I thought I was the last person to leave the house, when I noticed Becca near the back of the hallway. I turned to her and asked if she was coming, but she simply said, “I can’t”. Dream 1 Analysis: I was told there were going to be a lot of people at Becca’s funeral. I never did like crowds, and opted out of attending. That has been my life’s largest regret. Plus, even then, I couldn’t recall when I had last seen her. So, whether it was her or not, I still felt like this was my way to actually say goodbye. Dream 2 Analysis: I’m no expert on these matters, but I’ve always seen the family leaving as a representation of the rest of the family living on. Becca staying behind was simply because she was dead. I may have wanted her to come, but she just couldn’t.