the engagement

Date: 8/25/2016

I woke up in an unfamiliar room. Ive never seen this before. I stood up went outside and emerge in a large square house with two of my nieces and some of my cousins and people who work in our hardware. I didn't ask them where i was; it just cane to me. I was in finland and engaged to a man i have yet to see since i woke up when we slept last night. He was in the bathroom and i can hear the water running as he showered. Too shy and awkward to ask him questions i went to the living room all while looking at the big house and comparing it to my home back in maragusan. I kept trying to figure out which of the two was larger. This wasnt a very exaggeratedly designed home; there were not many ornaments, just a few large furniture, and quiet cAlm gray walls. There were a lot of doors and rooms i have yet to see in this one storey home but i thought to myself i would just explore them some other time. In the couch were 2 of my female cousins from my dads side pf the fam, they sat there having a nice morning chitchat as they let the little girls play outside. I gave them a good morning greet and they gave me theirs and continued their small talk. It seems that everyone knows whats happening and its only i who does not understand the whole idea of being in finland. I showed myself out and walked towards the little girls. Kuya juan and ate shierra were there listening to some radio in the small shed that appears to belong to the same man who owns the house. Beside them, were the kids playing together. I approached them to join the game but ended up asking where i was. I knew exactly where i was; i knew i was in finland; i just needed reinforcement to believe in the whole situation. "Hey, where are we now?" I asked in a soft tone. Instead of giving me a reply, young and ugly toothed Gigi pointed at the mountains. The nearby mountains, filled by yellow red and orange chlorophyll in tall pine trees and a very large logging machine, looked very strange to me. It must be fall. I turned back at the kids and i could see the whole house behind them. It was not finished yet. There were building materials outside it and a small shed was built to shelter the construction goods. I realized how it explains why the walls were in a calm quiet gray-- it isn't painted yet. In an open window of the house was a head of a dark haired man. He must be my fiancé. He was staring at me and the kids with a big smile that made me freeze on my knees. I didn't smile back; i just stood there, looking at the man i must be in love with. Faraway, i could draw his face already, his short silky dark hair, his smile that showed his pearly teeth, and the warm aura of sheer love and joy that he exuded. I was frozen, thoughtless, happy and continued staring at this man staring at me. It is Jani. On my way back to the house i remained silent, feeling my cardiac beats getting fast as i am about to see him, feeling the cool morning Finnish air with every inhale, and trying to figure whether this is all real or just one of my hyper realistic dreams. It all just felt so real or maybe i kept trying to make it feel so. I snapped back to 'this' reality and called the kids to get back inside. Upon entry, he was the first person i saw. I looked at him as he donned his usual jani smile in conversationwith my cousins as he sat in a small black leather chair that matched his locks. The moment was broken with the kids going up to him and exchanged small kisses to both cheeks. This was not in our culture yet the two girls knew somehow and did it as a morning greeting to him. After kissing Gigi, he looked at me giving me his stare and smile that tried to tell that it was my turn to kiss him. We looked at eachother in the eye as he waited for me to come closer and give him a very special gift- a kiss. Having never kissed a guy before i just didn't know how this works. I approached him as he sat and tilted his head towards me. I kissed the part pf his cheek that lay very close to his red rosy lips. While our faces were very close i looked at him again, awkward, waiting for him to offer his other cheek but he offered the same side and sly smile. Maybe he asked me to kiss closer to his lips but i kissed him just the same and gave him the rain smile. Jani stood up as he saw my parents behind me. While we were greeting each other everyone else had already gathered in the living room to start what i think would be a discussion on our engagement-marriage (or pamalayi). I stood beside my parents and janis family was on the other side. He stood beside me and held me close to him with his arm around me as he was about to introduce me, his fiancé, to the Finns. With all of us now gathered in the room one woman asked us to do a prayer first before starting and we all faced the altar. I looked at it feeling the touch of Jani's one handed embrace and our happy happy days together. The woman started counting down from 50 as we all did the sign of the Cross in a version that had 50 steps (it must be the holy 50nity). I woke up when we reached 37. I really thought this was real but woke up in a dark early morning and alone in my cold room. ☺️