Ready for that day.

Date: 1/28/2020

I walk into a place. A clothes store or something. There are some people inside. No one I know but in my dream i got the sense of disgust I had for my moms friends. They welcome me with the usual hypocrisy. I know they are a bunch of junkies. I suspect mom is there cause everybody is acting suspicious. I suspect she might be hiding in a fitting room or something. I see a guy come out of one and I think to myself if my mom walks out of that same fitting room I’ll beat the crap out of him. Suddenly the place becomes like a living quarters. Some distant cousins are there. In spite of the fact that we hadn’t seen each other in a very long time they were not happy to see me. In fact, they looked bothered. My shirt all of the sudden felt very uncomfortable and I wondered if I had put it on backwards. I’m more than ready to leave, I reached for my sandal but it had slid under the couch. My cousin was preparing her bed to go to sleep and she bent over her bead to reach and her shirt rolled up exposing her butt and the thong she was wearing. Impressed by how good she looked I still managed to look away. Finally mom appears. We walked to the balcony. There was a storm going on and the streets were flooded. There were wild animals like alligators swimming about. Then we notice a huge thing being pulled down stream by the current but it was caught on something. It was a giant snake. Maybe some 50ft long. Then some men pulled it out of the water and coiled it. I wondered how they have the courage to do that. Mom said it was dead. I laughed and asked how do you know? I only know a snake is dead if it doesn’t bite. Mom unamused by the joke brings a small cup and straw to her nose and snorts the contents. I asked angrily. what, You do coke by the cup now? I remember you used to buy it dimes at a time. Then she says, you can’t handle my life. If you lived my life you would too. I say to her. I’m more than ready to die the day I can’t handle life. I know life has been difficult and I expect it to get worse but I’ll kill myself before I resort to drugs. I swear I am ready for anything including that day.