me hating not being cis

Date: 2/24/2019

i had anOTHER dream where i was at this premiere thing for a bunch of live action animes and the haikyuu live action was showing and i got so into it that i started mimicing their actions and words in front of a bunch of people who literally didnt care and i was like “hehe sorry i got too into it” i hate myself i remember also thinking in my dream that i wish i was comfortable in my own body and i wish i was comfortable with boobs bc big boobs are hot ?? (but i remember thinking id kill myself seeing boobs on me) yeah i hate myself for having that dream but i think its just my internalized transphobia seeping into my dreams