Kid Icarus of Hogwarts Jail

Date: 8/20/2018

I am in an underground prison version of Hogwarts where students and their families are kept in cells. We think it's voluntary at first, but then realize that they have been drugging us and entering our rooms at night to experiment on us. We can also not leave. One morning I wake to a slip of receipt paper on my palm. I peel it off to reveal that a bunch of dots and letters and numbers have been burned into my skin. One student of the blue house walks into my room and I can tell that they have been ordered not to interact with me. I get in his face and yell, but he does his best to leave the clothes he bought and rushes out. He's a blue student, and I suspect that they are the ones doing the bidding of whomever is in charge. I am walking the halls with my friend and declare that I'm going to burn the whole place to the ground with everyone inside it. I stop to look out a window. Somehow I sneak around the prefect for the blue house's floor. I want to investigate. I sneak down a corridor into what is a sort of locker room. I see that I'm wearing the same orange shorts that all the blues are wearing, but a different shirt. As I'm crouching behind a counter, three blues are approaching. I decide that it'd be best if it didn't look like I was hiding, so I hop up and put my acting to the test. They look startled, but not alarmed, so I act angry about not knowing where all the shirts are. I say this one's too hot, and ask where the AC unit is. They act like I'm an idiot for not knowing. I decide it'd be suspicious of an actual blue to take shit from another blue, so I snap back. I realize that the leader of the three is really short, and I have a go at that. "I don't know how the weather is DOWN THERE, but up here with the rest of us, it's too damn hot." This is too far for even a blue. This guy must be some sort of prefect. His friends close in on me. I pull some sort of escape move and run down the hallway. I reach an office with desks and cubicles with blues working in rows. They see me wearing the wrong uniform and get suspicious. The blue prefect from the locker room shouts for them to grab me. I run through the rows of desks, avoiding the arms of the blues, jumping and flipping, and vaulting over every desk and blue in my way. Some of them get too close and carve "KUD ICARUS" into my face. Kid Icarus is a legend among the blues of a mysterious student from another floor that terrorizes them. They hate Kid Icarus, but the other students (reds, greens, and yellows) love the idea of the blues getting what's coming to them . It's not actually me of course. I get away and run back up the stairs where my friend is waiting. I am only gone for a moment, and he sees me return cut and bruised. We dip in and out of colored floors, and up several levels to lose any blues that might be following. At one point, we hear Snape lecturing a yellow girl about "smooching in the hallway." Later in the dining hall, where all the students eat together no matter their house, I am sitting with my friend (whom I'm pretty sure is Ron by now) and Hermione when I catch wind of a massive prank that's going to be pulled on the blue tables by Icarus. I see this as an opportunity to get the support of three houses. I stand up on the table to cause a scene as quickly as possible. We are supposed to be sitting in silence, so the guards start toward me. With the cuts on my face still healing, I jump to the blues' table. Someone shouts "it's kid Icarus!" and I run Down the table, causing as much damage as possible to anything in my path. Dishes are smashed and thrown, and as I get to the end of the table to leap to the yellow, the real Icarus' plan comes to fruition. The blues' pants are pulled down, and they all shit themselves. Dirty toilet paper shoots from under the table, and the whole dining hall goes to chaos. The blues are in a fury. The yellows reds and greens begin to throw dishes and food. I run along the yellow table, smashing dishes of food as I dodge guards trying to grapple me. In the chaos, I sit back down next to Hermione where she offers to find me a dragonfly wing to help with my "TV problem." I later attend a wizard play wherein an insane wizard is trying collect the tears of a dinosaur, but keeps being in such awe when he finds it that he cries and kisses it on the snout before it inevitably walks off.