Midwest Hospitality 🏰

Date: 5/23/2017

I went with my parents to a castle to have dinner with this rich family. We brought a bunch of things to help them move furniture and stuff, because they had just moved in and that's what you do in the Midwest. I also brought my ukulele, which didn't make a whole lot of sense, but I figured if we were going to be there a while we might as well have some music. It was raining and I didn't have my uke case, so when we walked in from the car I just had to hunch over and protect it with my body. I was very nervous about not having my case. So we had dinner in this full-service restaurant in the castle, and then we went to the living area and hung out and helped unpack and move things. I did play uke. We had a nice little jam session. I started talking to this guy who I was kinda interested in, just casual friendly conversation. Then this OBNOXIOUS LITTLE GIRL made these little play-doh puppets of us and was smashing them together in obscene ways. And mine was a pig! It was a cute pig, so I wasn't really mad about that part. But I had the feeling she meant it as an insult anyway. She kept smashing them together and walking around saying things about us that were not true and that she was clearly too young to understand and I got fed up. I took the puppets from her and ripped them in half. My mom gave me a look like "that probably could have been handled better, but I get it and I'm trying not to laugh." As we were gathering all our stuff and leaving I got into this very serious discussion with my parents about politics and how I hate the two party system and too many Christians think it's a sin to vote Democrat when literally any democrat would have been a waaay better president than Captain Meat Sweats, and why have we accepted this partisan system that says you can't care about unborn babies and refugees at the same time and fuck it all I'm so sad! Then we were in the car on the road and I realized "oh no, I forgot my ukulele!" but Dad was like "no, I got it, it's right here."