Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 3/8/2017
By Fitful
I living was in an apartment. I was dating. I would talk to girls on the phone through an app, text them a while and then we would date in person. It was one girl at a time, of course, but I was basically a noob to dating. I had no idea what I was doing. So I just redid everything the same, since it worked. I said the same thing. I created them each a poster. I remember saying I like Matt, who was a guy in one's building. I just repeated it to the next girl. She had the same Matt too. Each time the girl was pleased I noticed such a small detail of their lives. When the relationship was over I put the girls poster, which was poster board and watercolor paint awfully done, on the wall in the dining room. They were on the wall in a stack, so you didn't really see the painting on them. I balanced them on push pins, the push pins weren't staggered evenly. The first one had a nice gap before the second one. Then a very small gap before the third one. Then the a large gap before the end of the poster board. I kept finding myself drawn to the one with a beautiful woman on it, fully drawn, as if she were a queen on a pile of Persian carpets in some foreign land. It had reds and blues and purples. It was also blurry, as if poorly painted or out of focus. It was my favorite but I buried it because I didn't want to display them, those relationships, I just wanted to keep them for recall. It was the only one fully finished. The rest were barely washes of color on the board. I was dating this girl the last girl of the dream. I loved her. She was adorable. We got on well together and I remember the feel of her skin, the warmth of her closeness, the feel of her joy in the air around me. She was sweet. I don't know why that relationship ended. It just abruptly wasn't there one day. It wasn't even a loss or sorry parting. It's like the ending was missing, the last chapter torn out. I knew this would happen each time I dated a girl. I even fell in love with them, truly and fully. I even felt the relationship was nice, good, soft and sweet. But I knew it would be gone. The entire time I was dating those girls, or maybe the times when they weren't in the house, I had friends over. These two guys, maybe three or more. I recall the two the most. It was John Sheppard and Rodney McKay. They were friends still but not lovers. I knew they either were taking a break, having a spat, broke up, or never even knew they were suppose to be together. I think maybe in the beginning of the dream they were and it progressed as the dream progressed. They sat together however, at the dining room table with their friends and it seemed they were playing cards the whole time but I didn't see until what they did at the end. Finally at the end of the dream I noticed they were ragging on each other, well the whole group was, good naturedly. Rodney had convinced Sheppard the challenge of eating or smashing or doing something to a whole lot of tomatoes. These tomatoes were large and shaped like deformed brains, their skins were missing so they had that fleshy gel look. It was a metaphor, the tomatoes, for some scientific thing. Sheppard has lost a bet and was doing the challenge which involved all the tomatoes. It was a game number, 50 or 100. I think it was eating them and/or holding them in his mouth, while telling McKay nice things. These nice things were said in a buddy buddy way, but I could see it made Sheppard uncomfortable to say these things to McKay because they weren't together in that way. I was happy because I felt this was the breakthrough they needed. I also believed McKay about the tomato metaphor thing.