Sentient Water Bottle

Date: 8/21/2018

I was back in Middle school, but I was still my adult self. There was apparently a threat sent to the school that a maniac with a knife was going to kill the students. So, before they could show up, the entire school line up side-by-side around the building and we all started to dig a big ole trench that we then had to jump in a bury ourselves in the dirt. I asked my teacher, who was my irl work manager, why we had to do this and she said it was so the maniac wouldn't find us. Before we completely buried ourselves however, we all stood in the deep trench just talking and chilling. I was holding our class mascot, who was a talking water bottle, and they always made jokes and ripped on each student. Everyone thought they were fun, but I found them kinda rude. Later, out of the trench, it was after school and I had to take the water bottle home that day. I walked over to the library with them in my hand while they kept cracking jokes about me. I then noticed that there was a large crack in the bottle itself and I started to freak out because the water bottle had also stopped talking. I ran over to the nearby Condos and broke into my Grandmother's old house that had new residents in it. I snuck around, and I guess I could turn invisible too, but the residence were cooking their dinner while I was rummaging around for a new water bottle base. I ended up finding a replica in their oven, and the woman that lived there only saw a floating water bottle I was stealing since I was invisible. She began to scream and I ran out of there as quickly as possible. I then got to the library, finally, and swapped the caps from each bottle. The water bottle mascot began to speak in a soft tone, and they said "I know I might come off as rude sometimes, but I appreciate your kindness. I'll be sure to be nicer to women, since they're so soft". I wasn't a fan of that last comment but I knew that they had good intentions.