Dream: Scuro

Date: 4/19/2023

I can't remember a lot from the dream. I know I was a young male cat spirit that took on a mostly human form. I had short messy black hair, lightly tanned skin, blue and yellow mismatched eyes, and stood about 5'7" I think. My dark gray cat ears and tail were still noticeable so I kept them hidden. Ears under a hat. Tail wrapped around my waist like a belt. I had taken on this form to be close to some people I cared about. People who had helped me when, to them, I was just a stray cat. I remember befriending the sister, Elise, first. She embraced the facts of who and what I was fairly quick. Helped me get a better feel for how humans behaved. Even set up a cot for me in her room. She was patient with me. Very kind. Befriending her brother, Alec, was harder. He didn't trust me. Nor did he believe that I was the little cat they had been helping here and there for almost a year. He often wielded his words like a sharp blade. Each word cut deep within me but his sister always comforted me afterwards. One afternoon, Alec came home early. I had been sleeping on a cot in Elise's room. He walked in and over to the cot while I did my best to pretend I was still asleep. "I don't understand what you want from us. Elise should never have let you in here." He sighed as he sat down by the little cot and leaned back against the wall. "We never expected a humanized cat to show up here." He gently ran his fingers over my cheek. I fought the urge to lean into his touch. After all, he likely thought I was asleep. I could smell the faint scent of tobacco. I heard the sound of him flicking his lighter.  "I must really be stressing him out." I thought as I continued pretending to be asleep. He ran his fingers through my hair now. Occasionally they'd brush against one of my ears and my ear would twitch but he didn't stop. Just kept running his fingers through my hair as he smoked. "I can't say I trust who or what you are... But I will trust you not to hurt Elise." He said before tapping my forehead, completely halting anymore petting, "You can respond now. I know you're awake." I gulped quietly and opened my eyes, "I would never try to hurt either of you." I told him firmly, but quietly. I held his gaze. My heterochromatic eyes staring into his dark amber ones. We stared each other down for a good while. Alec looked away, put out his cigarette, and sighed, "It's not that easy. You're a demon. How can you expect me to trust your words?" I sat up, glaring at him, "It isn't like I asked to be born as I am. Humans can be just as awful as demons sometimes. With their words. With their choices of discipline. I've tried to be good my whole life. Yet I'm always mistreated because I'm never human enough or demon enough." I felt my ears slick back as my tail puffed up in my annoyance. Alec seemed almost surprised by my reaction. He ran a hand through his short brown hair as if flustered. Yet that didn't change how annoyed I was. "Scuro! Alec!" Elise called as she arrived home. I felt white-hot tears spilling over as I headed towards Elise. Alec grabbed my wrist and stopped me. I looked back at him and saw his eyes widen. He likely saw the scars on my back. Ones that Elise had been treating off and on since I began living in her room. I yanked my wrist from his grasp and went to Elise. She saw the tear streaks and wiped them away. Elise was always my comfort space. Her warm amber eyes. Her gentle touch when she held me. Her long auburn hair that brushed against me when she'd treat my scarred back. She was the epitome of calm and peace for me. "Did you have one of your nightmares again?" She asked me quietly. I nodded my head, lying to her. I wasn't about to become a rift between them. I had to be good after all. She led me back towards the laundry room and grabbed a hoodie for me. "Let's get those scars covered for now. After we eat I'll do another treatment, ok?" I nodded quietly. My anger and pain at Alec's words were fading. It was just the familiar numbness that remained. Elise led me to the kitchen table and had me sit. I fiddled with the hem of the long hoodie before finally pulling the hood up over my ears, crossing my arms on the table, and burying my face into my arms. It wasn't long before I heard Alec walk into the front room. I assumed he sat on the couch since I didn't hear any chairs move. Elise loved to cook. And I always liked eating the meals she made. She had dreams of opening up a soup kitchen nearby for the homeless, adults and kids alike. All so she could let lots of people experience good meals. Making meals may as well have been her love language. "Alrighty boys, how's some tilapia and steamed veggies sound for tonight?" She called out. I felt my tail swish happily despite myself. "Sounds delicious." I mumbled, embarrassed over my tail giving me away. "Just no edamame in the veggies this time. That stuff tastes weird." Alec remarked. "I'll be sure to give you a double serving of just those then." Elise teased and I couldn't help but chuckle. It got quiet again. I could hear the faint hum of a newscaster on the TV. Alec usually had captions on so he wouldn't need the TV very loud to hear. Elise was humming a fun tune as she cooked. I just sat where I was. Not sure if I should actually stay or not. I sighed as my body tensed. I got up and walked to Elise's side. "I'm gonna go grab a shower. I need to clear my head after all." "Alrighty. You know where the towels and clothes are. Just be ready in time for dinner." She said while frying up some lightly seasoned tilapia. I gave her a quick hug then headed to the bathroom. I grabbed a towel, some clean boxers and pants, then shut the bathroom door. I prayed the shower would help. While in there I could hear what all was going on out front. Alec had begun trying to sew the seeds of doubt in Elise's mind. Trying to say I couldn't be trusted. She would snap back about how he hadn't even bothered to get to know me. How his actions were nearly identical to some of my abusers.  I'd never felt so proud of a friend... Yet it also hurt that they were fighting because of me. I cleaned up in the shower. My emotions swirled like a storm in my mind. As I got dressed in the clean clothes I felt more pain than before. "Maybe I should just leave..." I said as I stepped out of the bathroom. I carried the dirty clothes to the laundry room and put them in the hamper.  "I should leave..." I whispered. The faint scent of dinner made me want to stay but I shook off that feeling. I headed to Elise's room, quietly opened her bedroom window, and climbed out. I then slowly, quietly, closed the window. The faint chill to the night air was honestly a welcome change. I headed off on foot. Not sure where I was going. Just away from here so I'd no longer hurt them. I don't remember how much time passed. I just remember finding a bench, curling up on it, and falling asleep. The next thing I knew... I was being carried into somewhere warm. I was shivering. The person carrying me was warm. I curled into them, eyes not wanting to open in this hellish cold. "Stay with me, you idiot. No dying on me." The person said firmly. It sounded faintly like Alec. "That can't be right though... Alec hates me." I thought as I curled closer to the warmth. I felt myself drift back to unconsciousness. I eventually awoke on a couch. There was a cold cloth on my forehead. I no longer had the hoodie on. I could hear faint talking. "Where... am... I?" I managed to croak out. My throat was sore. "Elise! He's awake!" A voice called out. "Alec?" I mumbled. "I'm here. You're safe." He told me, his hands clasped around one of mine. I heard hurried footsteps. I caught the faintest whiff of Elise's usual perfume. Some kind of cherry blossom scent. "You gave us a scare." She said in a huff, "You've got a fever. You've been unconscious for three days. Because of the ears and tail... Well we weren't sure taking you to a hospital would be smart." I listened, my eyes remaining shut. I felt horrid. My head spun despite not having moved at all. "Am I finally dying?" I whispered. I heard Elise gasp and felt Alec's grip tighten on my hand. "Not on our watch." Alec told me. (Then I awoke.)