Okay here we go. So first of all, for this whole thing I'm like in a movie, and I'm aware that I'm in a movie, except that it's also real life. Anyway. At first I am in a desert and it's like mad max meets taledega nights (Ricky bobby was def there) and we're watching all these people zoom around in their fancy souped up cars, sort of racing, sort of just trying to kill each other. (Also for whatever reason I just knew that this movie I was in was a Christian movie, partly because no one was allowed to swear, only say "gosh darn" and "flippin", and partly because it kept playing a Christian soundtrack music--which just like plays in the background of the world of everything and everyone is just like "yep that's normal") Anyway, so I'm there with this guy who is like my pal/partner/guy-I-ran-into-during-the-chaos dude, and it was a "we were not officially dating but it was obvious we would be by the end of the movie" sort of thing. I can't remember who the actor was that was playing him, but I'm pretty sure he was supposed to be Remes (a character from my novel). So me and Remes dude are stuck out in this desert having escaped our captors or whatnot, and we have no car. And we know we have to race and win sort of thing, you know, big chase scene finale--fast and furious style. We're trying to figure out how to get a car without dying and we run into this chick who was being played by Penelope Cruz. We did a bunch of stuff with her as she was trying to get out of there too I think, but I don't remember what all we did. Eventually we get to the point where someone has to stay behind to do "X thing" to ensure that the rest of the group can get out. She offers to do it without hesitation even though she'll get recaptured, and pulls out a old parchment-y looking roll of paper. She tells me to find Charlie in the upstairs of such and such place in such and such town, to read the note to him, and if she does then he'll hand us keys to a car no questions asked. Me and Remes dude are like "uh okay then" and then ol "we'll come back for youuuu!" as we run away. Next part I remember, we're in a building, and I've got the old looking note. I'm tempted to read it of course, but I don't. So me and Remes dude are sprinting around trying to get to the highest floor possible, cause that's gotta be the "upstairs" right? And we know there's gotta be one more but we can't find a stairwell. We sprint past this doorway which the room inside looks like total old school, fancy western-Victorian-mobster style, with like giant wood bookshelves that cover the walls and the dusty yellow glass lights hanging down. I vaguely register a mob ish lookin guy sitting at a desk who yells at us that we can't be in there, but I just pull Remes along an sprint up the staircase that I'd seen. Remes must've had to fend off the mob guy because he wasn't with me when I got up to the loft. Once I'm there I call out "Charlie? Is there a Charlie here?" No one answers but I hear the noise of someone scuttling around. I look over to where there's like two bathroom stalls jut kinda in the corner of the room, and I see feet under the door. So I casually saunter over and I'm like "Charlie? Are you in there?" And I can see through the crack in the door and this dude is just staring at me, terrified. So I stand there a minute and then I'm like "wait. Charlie are you...pooping?" He just nods in shame. I decide to wander around the place(which is like an apartment) while I wait. Except that the entire time I just have to listen to the sound of him pooping and it was 9000% awkward. Finally he returns and the dude is Owen. Fricking. Wilson. Half of me is like "wtf" but half of me just accepts that Owen Wilson is a mob boss so I'm like "K, so I've got this thing and I gotta read it so sit yo self down". he pulls up a chair and I flop onto my stomach on the bed, unrolling the page in front of me. For some reason I'm like bilingual--or English and Spanish are neither of my first languages or something because I'm struggling really hard to read it. It doesn't make much sense to me as it's all in like secret references where I don't get it but he clearly does. Gentle tears roll over his cheeks and I'm gathering that it's basically a love note. After I finish, he quietly asks me a bunch of questions about her and if she's okay and where to go so he can rescue her and whatnot. At the end he asks "so what am I supposed to give you?" And I say "I need a car!" He nods and drops some keys in my hand. Then Remes dude finally returns and I shake the keys like "lookie! Car!!" And he's like "whaaaaa??? How did you??" But we have to go so I turn back to mob boss Owen Wilson and very genuinely tell him "Charlie, it was truly an honor to meet you. I hope you can find your love (Penelope Cruz) again. She truly does love you." Then Remes and I left all dramatic like to go find our new car while the "Christian music" soundtrack played in the background (it wasn't even a Christian song?? It was Alps by Novo Amor??? I guess because I listened to that while falling asleep?) What even.