Drugs

Date: 1/17/2018

(I guess some caring about my boyfriend a lot so if you find that gross don’t read this one) Me and my boyfriend were at a party and he was acting a little off at first which concerned me but in order to have fun I brushed it off. He disappeared for a bit but it felt like I was looking for him all night. Everything he could be doing was racing through my mind. I found him playing with his friends but he seemed really distracted and distant. I walked up to him and tried to ask what was wrong but he just looked at me and mumbled “good” and continued what he was doing. I walked off a bit confused but I figured I did something to upset him so I just would go home (the only reason I went was to be around him for a bit). But as I walked out the doors I got really anxious something might happen to him or he might get super drunk or that he would cheat on me so I decided to find him again. I went back to his friends and asked him where he was and they didn’t know. Again I looked around for a little too long and found him just casually walking around the house with a blank stare. I asked if he was okay again and he just ignored me and walked off. I got very pissed and told him “Okay then, fuck it. I’m leaving. Do whatever you want”. And I walked outside. However I saw this guy standing outside who people would occasionally go up to. I wasn’t stupid I realize he was a drug dealer and suddenly everything clicked in my head. Now I’m more pissed than ever. I walk up to him and asked if he had seen my boyfriend and he said “yea dude he’s GOT to be fucked right now” and laughed. I went home angry and exhausted. I couldn’t think about anything. After I got home I sat down for about half an hour trying to clear my mind but then it clicked with me again that I just left the love of my life alone while he’s fucked on acid. He’s not the type to make great decisions like that. I started shaking and I was pissed at myself for being so selfish and I rushed back. I couldn’t seem to get there fast enough. My heart was racing and everything that could possibly happen was going through my mind. I woke up crying and anxious. I kinda wish the dream ended with me finding him okay instead of just cutting me off mid drive