The secret to clown cars... 🤡

Date: 10/20/2019

I had a dream where I was waiting in car line outside of my brother and sisters old elementary school, waiting to pick them up. In line ahead of us was one of those small clown cars painted in bright colors. It stopped, in the car line, the door opened, and like three dozen clowns (all in different styled costumes, with different colored hair and varying sizes/shades of red noses and makeup) proceeded to get out of the small car. One of the clowns was Bozo the Clown with his orange hair, one was the clown from IT, like just all sorts of clowns emerged from this car and walked in different directions all casual, normal faces. Some went into the school others to the playground, some went into the parking lot. None of the other kids or parents in car line seemed weirded out at all, everyone was acting like it was completely normal. I rolled down my window and heard the car blasting circus music. It sped off after the last clown got out and I looked at my grandpa and he said, ‘you know I used to be a clown, right?’ (In real life he did NOT ever have a job as a clown) And I said ‘yeah’ because it was one of those stories you heard all the time as a kid, of COURSE I knew he was a clown. (I’ve never heard of him even liking clowns. He might even be afraid of them) And he said ‘I knew how to do that, I knew the little trick of fitting in that small car.’ I got all excited and asked him to tell me. He smiled and said ‘you’ve got to collapse your lungs, and delete your intestines, but be careful about it.’ Then he demonstrated. I wasn’t weirded out during the dream, in fact I was awed. Then I tried to do it but I couldn’t. A clown that had been wandering around came and tapped on my window and I rolled it down and he said in a clown-happy-voice, ‘heya John’ (my grandpa) ‘long time no see!’ My grandpa laughed and said ‘hey Kevin, my granddaughter here wants to try the ol’ clown car trick.’ The clown, Kevin, laughed a clown laugh and I opened the door and got out. Then I followed him and he said ‘I’m sure you’re just as good as John was, huhu!’ Then he ripped off his nose, which showed bone behind it in the circle, and honked it. It honked REALLY loud and echoed across the school grounds. A few seconds later all the clowns came rushing back. Kevin the clown popped his nose back on and said ‘we have an aspiring young girl who wants to try the clown car trick, fellas!’ The IT clown said ‘not everyone can do the clown car trick, Kevin, huhu!’ Kevin replied with something like ‘oh doncha worry, this is John’s granddaughter!’ All the clowns laughed and honked their noses and started bopping up and down, bending their knees and then unbending them, bouncing like weirdos, all while laughing maniacally. I was not perturbed in the slightest, neither was anyone else. Without further notice I was jostled into the car with the crowd of clowns. They were all taller than me and their gloved hands were warm, they helped me into the car which was a tight fit even for me (and I’m skinny). Then I closed my eyes and tried to collapse my lungs and delete my intestines. All of a sudden I felt an emptiness and the weird sensation of my stomach deflating as it fell inwards on emptiness. I tried to cheer but I couldn’t because my lungs were gone. Instead, a honk came out, similar to that of the clown’s honks. They all cheered and laughed clown-ily and clapped their hands. Then they proceeded to pile in and squish me, as they all got back into the car and deleted their own intestines and collapsed their own lungs. I ended up with my face buried in the orange hair of a clown, all I could see were flashes of bright yellows and oranges and reds as all the clowns moved around in the tight quarters. I heard circus music blasting super loud in my ears and their noses honking and clowns laughing all around it was so fucking weird. Like regular commotion on a bus but clown-ified. Then I felt the car start moving. Surprisingly having deflated lungs and no intestines didn’t hurt at all, neither did the squishing. I was just excited I was a part of this cool trick. Then the dream ended. I don’t know what to think except thank god I’m not afraid of clowns.