Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 4/28/2021
By Fitful
I was dragged to a new country by... A father figure? My father? No.. It didn't feel that close a relation, but also it did feel that close. not sure how to explain it, closer than father, but not father. And yes father. Anyway I didn't speak the language they did there. I felt kinda lost. But there were a lot of kids in the family, and I got used to be there in the thick of them. I kept waiting to go home. My dad or whomever brought me was doing something. it didn't seem that important at first but then after a while I realized what it was. I think they were saving someone? Or saving a group, a cause... Something which upon retrospect seemed a good thing to do. I think he was something akin to an archaeologist, an excavator and this saving someone person. Not exactly a healer but close. Anyway it, what he was doing here, was kinda like recovering something fragile and precious, and bringing it back. For them, the group he was saving. Anyway my mom bought/gave me a kitten, unbidden, just to get on my good side. I was kinda mad... I didn't want a Siamese kitten. I liked Siamese kittens, they were pretty. But if I got a cat I had my heart set on a certain breed. So while I liked kittens and wanted a cat, I didn't want this one. It wasn't for me. It made me uncomfortable to be around... It was cute tho. Cried for me when in the mornings after i woke it up along with my other pets. I loved my pets - I had my old rabbit in a carrier on my bed even when i slept which worried me a moment when I woke up fearing I could have rolled over on it an crushed it in my sleep - and my dog... After I'd beem there some time I went for a walk with someone, my dad? And it was away from the kids, "family", and my pets. Like an hour. I'd been there so long, gotten used to being there, that I was used to regular touch now. I was so touch starved now being away from it an hour hurt and made me feel panic. A celebrity died. A local one who I also adored from back home. People in this new country poured out their condolences in the online forum. I didn't like it, they didn't feel genuine. I commented a real and true one but no one cared, few read it, only those who spoke my language could or did. I felt very removed from the people around me, in the new country, maybe it was the language barrier. Maybe. It was like their emotions towards the same things as mine was alien and wrong. Even as they shared the exact same emotion, theirs felt prurient, grasping, icky and voyeuristic. Mine was true caring. Anyway the celebrity was someone I knew, and loved. Or maybe someone I knew and loved died too. This man, the one I loved who died, became a female. A female spirit or a female spirit in the astral... I spoke with their spirit, and they said I could speak with the female version or the male version, I only had to ask. I felt alone, and comforted. I wanted them there in person so I mourned. I could talk but it wouldn't be the same, because I was so touch starved, I felt starved again. My dad gave me everything I needed. Electronics in particular. A phone, a tablet, more, a ton of them, anything I could want electronic wise. I had a room on a top floor in a little nook room, up winding attic stairs. The buildings here were kinda cramped. The bed was raised, like up on slats and you could easily see under it. I hung over the side and peered underneath, the room was so well lit - yellow sunlight everywhere - I could see under very well. It was right at the window. It was very pretty under there. There were some fallen crystals under the bed, I could see them, an obsidian coffin, an onyx marble, a few other dark ones...a smidgen of dirt in the corners not swept properly, but very pretty blonde wood. I felt safe, but I missed that one who died. and I had stuff to do... That room was safe to do stuff on the electronics. I had stuff online to do. Not on this countries online forums or servers though. I still wasn't comfortable speaking the foreign. I wanted home language, people speaking the same thing around me, understanding me. I wanted to go home still.