First Day of School, Dream Within a Dream

Date: 8/19/2023

I had a dream it was the first day of school, and I had trouble finding my way. I ran into Kamryn, and we talked for a bit.. I felt like I was forcing myself to look and sound appealing. She asked me if I knew any of her idols, and I honestly didn't. I swirled around a few different options, and while I knew she liked them, they still didn't feel right. In between walking in the hall I kept writing possible answers to her question. I wanted to be right, I wanted to know her. The bell rang, and I went to the bathroom before next class. I felt embarrassed and hot. and I had another dream: There was an old haggard librarian, who led a young boy into this desolate garden to trap him. He became weak and ill, while a friend of his outside the gates tried to figure out how to rescue him. A beautiful woman appeared before the librarian, talking about how excited she was for the wedding between her and the young boy. The librarian was a servant to this woman, and loved her despite her inability to profess this even to herself. Eventually the little boy's friend broke in, and both the boys rescued the librarian.. who reverted to being young again. The beautiful woman's face split down the middle, and she was distraught that she wasn't beautiful anymore.. but quickly became enamored with a cat and became content. The once old librarian, despite her desire to stay, chose to run. I returned to the bathroom, and saw two woman helping each other with their clothes. One was masculine and tall, the other was skinny and meek. They seemed like they liked each other a lot, and I was envious. I didn't see myself in either of them. I ran to where my next class should be. It was stressful trying to find seats, there were never any left by the time I got there. After class, I kept running into Kamryn in the hall. It felt awkward. I felt like my skin didn't belong to me.. that I was revolting.