This isn't a dream..

Date: 9/1/2016

This isn't about a dream... I'm suffering from severe depression and I am the only one around me that knows about it.. I'm not a person easily broken but when my break downs happen they are severe.... I can't even do the things I love anymore and family is just a drag. I have no friends. I'm in bad health and I can't even get out of it cause my family isn't willing to step up to the challenge of just becoming healthy and I'm lonesome watching all my "friends" date. My annoying classmates give me and the whole class a bad rep and to top it off, I'm a fat, short, ugly and segregated black female indigo with no one around her that's like minded or even remotely willing to be a friend to her.. to me. I don't want to live and have attempted suicide about 3 times.... I want to die.. my dreams are my only escape and this insomnia is making me go insane... I don't want to be this freak and I'm trying to grasp reality and make something positive out of it but I don't even know where to start... I don't even know myself. I don't love myself.