Paul Rudd’s Parents’ White Powdered Donuts

Date: 1/19/2020

I was hanging out with Paul Rudd’s (the actor who played “Ant Man” in the super-hero movies) Mom. She was in a friendly argument with her husband on how to make Traditional Powdered Donuts. The Mom said that they used to put poop in them and the Dad was adamant that you do not put poop in any donut. So they googled it and people have done both. We were visiting the Holland’s later that night and I was going to make these famous traditional powdered donuts. So I began to roll out the dough. I needed to find some human poop to stuff these treats with. Melissa said, “One of our kids just so happened not to flush the toilet in their bathroom after taking a dookie (I think it was Wes!)” I rolled the dough around Wes’s ground-hamburger-textured stool, formed a circle out of it, leaving a hole in the middle, and dropped it into the deep-fryer until golden brown. Then I sprinkled a butt-load of white powdered sugar all over it. The next day, I tried to eat one and it made me sick to my stomach 🤢 At lunch time I saw the “Ant Man” himself, sitting at the picnic table and I recalled that his mother said that her son used to love her traditional powdered donuts growing up. So I decided to give him the last one (but, in no way could I tell him what was in it!) He took a big bite and began to chew. By the look on his face, I could tell he was trying to analyze what was in it. Nom—nom——nom. “What is that, StoveTop?” he asked in between chews. “Did you put StoveTop in this?” he smiled with a mouth full of dough. All I could respond was, “You don’t have to eat it. You can just—throw it away. I won’t be offended. You really should not eat that—if—you know—you don’t like it.” “No I’m just trying to figure out what’s in it.” as he takes another bite. “Anyway, I was talking to your parents last night and they wanted me to tell you that they say hi and that they love you—Oh and they were having some little quarrel about—well I gotta go!” 🤮 I get home to the Holland’s and walk into the kitchen where Melissa was. “Did your kids recently eat StoveTop?” She closed the refrigerator door and hiked her pants up and answered, “Yeah, why?” “No reason.” ⚠️ Disclaimer: You never make white powdered donuts (traditional or non) with human poop in real life!!! It could make you extremely sick and you could die!!! Have a blessed Sunday 🙂