Trust is like an unknown pill.

Date: 6/15/2019

I was moving, trying to find a place. The only thing available was a tiny bedroom I'd have to share with another tenant. Every room in the house would have to be shared with another tenant. ~ I was around my ex a lot. She'd leave a lot. She was leaving, moving away. One day when she was asleep or gone I watched a cockroach steal her nightmare before Christmas alarm clock. I picked it up and brought it back into the apartment. She had a nice place but she was never there. ~ It was me or her who worked at the hospital, seemingly given the job with no training or qualifications. It was her job to decide which person lived or died which person the hospital would help or let die. Her parents, religious ones, found out and came to tell her it was wrong. ~ I was poisoned, she poisoned me. She gave me an uncertain pill which she wouldn't tell me what was in it. I think she took one as well. It was a tiny blood red ball. I hadn't asked at the time she gave it to me because I trusted her but she moved away and I was left feeling weak. ~ A video popped up on my internet about letting your ex have their dreams and not stealing their maps. I felt it was synchronicity and I felt bad. I hadn't wanted her to go, to move away, but I didn't want to stop her dreams. There were a lot of maps on the screen. ~ Then I began bleeding from my mouth, my stomach hurt, I was really weak and I feared I was dying. I thought I should go to the hospital but I was embarrassed as I hadn't asked what was in the pill, I assumed it was love or even a sexy thing like an aphrodisiac. I feel foolish and I felt like she might get in trouble. I'd have to tell where I got it from and she might go to jail. I worried and didn't go to the hospital, just felt myself dying and I was afraid.