Diminished Dating, Memories Which You Forget and Remember, and No Sex for No One.

Date: 3/17/2017

By Fitful

Huge political climate where this old woman with mental problem, grieving, and no money wasn't allowed to come to New York. I think she was from France. She wanted to come here to grieve someone, and it was her shiny dream but they wouldn't let her in the country. This was a popular controversy on the news nationwide. I protested for her and when she did arrive she was held in a building and not allowed in the city, I went to help. Men in black suits were very cruel to her, threats were made, and she decided she wanted to go home. ----- I was living in a world where you wiped your memory after every relationship or after every day. It was the norm and expected. My guy friends made jokes about it, and you were considered deviant if you didn't. Kinda like conversations after a night with a woman with your friends was twisted a bit. Anyway I guess I fell in love again, and they were pleased for me. It's about time they said. I was dating a little man with dwarfism. He was a carver, he made elaborate beautiful wood sculptures by hand. I watched him make these carvings, and while I watched him make these I watched myself in a relationship with him, I think it was me. I had my body and was myself and watched a kind of hologram or memory version or something of a woman who interacted with him. The woman was me, or a other version of me. An angry mean one. He had quite the temper and yelled a lot. His friends knew to leave him alone when he was angry. I, or rather the holographic me, also yelled a lot. I thought the yelling I did rather unkind, but it was assured to me this was the norm for people in love. That it meant she was, I was, in love with him. He dropped pieces of his sculpture, the flower petals he was making, and I, well the hologram me, picked them up for him. He glued them back on and it happened again with the next flower. They yelled the whole time. It made me, the actual me uncomfortable. When not viewing the holographic interaction with him I felt much differently. He wasn't yelling when we were together and he was very shy and sweet. I was pleased to date him. Perhaps not as into it as I thought I was, but I think that was suppressed snobbishness because he had dwarfism. I didn't like my thoughts which were shallow so I ignored them and was very kind to him. I might have been forcing my attraction too. But I didn't think I was so it never became a problem. We had only gone on one date or two. It was the night of another date. While he got ready I went to the woods to pick herbs for dinner. I wanted to make something elaborate and green. I found many sharp smelling herbs, and I was pleased, but then I spied some lavender growing in the pond. I was on a hill cliff arching over the pond. Everything was very green, grass and herbs, but the pond was grey/blue water and purple flowers strewn over its mirror surface. I somehow glided down in slow motion, while I did this I thought those camera men making my movie were amazing at following me so slowly, and it was the smoothest glide into the pond. I scooped up lavender and waded in the water to the shore, climbing a pile of dark mud out. There was a scene which seems incongruent with the dream as it was going, our date was sweet and lovely on the surface as was our interaction. But I remember an argument between us, where he was horrible and yelled a lot, because he was scared when I went into the woods. He was scared I would get hurt, rather irrationally, and yelled his anger and fear when I refused to listen to his forbidding me. But this never happened because it didn't fit with the time line of the dream, like the plot didn't include it. The little dwarf man I dated got ready. He slept in a crib to be ironic. It was very low so he could get in and out of it easily. I think there were times when he acted a a baby at night but then I think the memory of it disappeared. There was also a memory of him being very young, and healthy, and springing from the bed with ease. But the current dwarf I dated was in pain, he hurt a lot, the natural degradation of the body due to dwarfism. He had a hard time walking anywhere. He was crazy unsure of himself, and had no self esteem. I was so kind with him because of that, like I was careful - knowing if I said things too harshly he would break. This is also why the holographic me didn't fit the plot of the dream either, she said horrid things. I got ready for my date in my room. I found my old white phat PSP sitting on the shelf, it was on the screen flickering. I was glad to see it, I hadn't seen it in forever, and when I picked it up it said the battery was dead. I hadn't charged it. I was upset about that. Then my pet bunny was running around and hid from my orange tabby cat. I moved the cat away from the bunny and picked it up, cuddling it and cooing. Then I did a Webcam. In it I had a foreign accident, like from the Ukraine perhaps? I was talking about how much I loved bunnies and wolves, they were my all time favorite animals, but it wasn't very articulate because I was so excited. I was also talking about this new popular tattoo/concept morality which all the young people were doing. It was called, no sex, one person. The tattoo was stacked like this... no sex no one And everyone wore the tattoo. I was explaining how this meant you only have sex with one person at a time. It was a radical new movement. Most thought it was hippie shit and I was being controversial by speaking out about it, in favor. I joked with the little dwarf when he showed up for our date. He was insecure and wanted to know if we were still going out. I joked with him that I wouldn't be able to make a decision for at least two dates, I stated it like two nights, suggesting sex would be the deciding factor. He blushed and smiled and sat on my leg while we had this conversation. He was pleased he would have somewhere to sit when in my room, if he sat there. The bed was taller than his head. In the dream I thought he could climb up with a boost but I don't think he could have actually.