Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 6/13/2021
By Fitful
Angel wings, cherub backlit by halo, but seemed sinister. I didn't like him, but knew it was Saturn. Living in a house ( my childhood Nana's home) with someone. Happy. TV set up was nice, good internet. Bed was on a table but it seemed cool. That was my only space. But a man, the head of the house, slapped me. Well he tried and mostly missed. Only his fingertips grazed. I was furious and he acted like it never happened. I threatened to call the police, stormed away to do so, but... I didn't. Instead I called and asked my Grandfather to come get me. If he could drive here and I'd drive back? Or maybe just take a taxi here and I'd drive back... He was blind legally and couldn't drive. But he said yes and came and got me. Bringing the right truck. A red suburban I was familiar with. And he wandered a moment seeming like he'd wait standing up but I still had to pack. I was torn though. I found out my dog had pooed on the floor beside my bed, between it and the wall. I either forgot about it and never cleaned it up or I just never knew. I was feeling guilty thinking it was the former, feeling stupid it could be the ladder. My pillow had been half slipping off onto the floor and it had poo on it, wet poo. And some of my books did, my spiritual books, comic books. I was so mad at myself. I didn't want to stay there long enough to do laundry. It would be another two hours and I had told the mans wife what he did and she hadn't believed me. I was feeling scared, not believed, and I wasn't even sure if it happened. I didn't have proof. I didn't even know if it did. Was a just a few fingers face slap truly a face slap? I just knew if he did it once he could do it again. Once someone hit you and got away with it they'd probably do so again. So I packed up, cleaned up what I could, folded the clean stuff and planned to do the bedding at home with Grandpa. In fact it'd be easier to do there. It would be so nice in fact. Safe and easy. So I painstakingly began to pack. But the woman began to pile her books and magazines - some very old and vintage - on the table that was/used to be my bed while I was packing. My stuff kept getting mixed with hers. And I kept getting the TV stuff mixed up. But eventually I was packed and moved it all out. And next was unpacking at home, in my old but new room. Someone kept a narration about some girl on TV making up a fake history of the world and acting it out. Making up fake popular classic songs, singing them herself and sounding like a dude. The differences were obvious but if you hadn't seen the original you'd never know the difference. It was odd. And I had a hard time cleaning up the book on my books. I got the TV set up tho. It was a nice set up, newer than it'd been the last time I was here. The internet was nicer here now. ~ Later I was at the library. A really nice ritzy library. It was dark and cold and raining. And there were kittens and cats gathered outside. For a second I thought it was the breed I wanted, I picked one up eagerly realizing I really wanted a cat and grabbing the smallest baby which didn't seem like it could make it out here. But it had an odd face and head. And it could speak. I set it down. I picked up several more and they all protested my plans, didn't want to go home with me. Finally I picked up a collector's box, like a funko but better and more posh. The character inside was male, done all in white, but agreed to go home with me. I was so excited. But he had a bad history. He'd raped his girlfriends twin sister and then the sister didn't believe that and the poor raped twin was left out in the cold. They both were skinny rag dolls. I felt bad, but still happy I had something to take home and love. I did go home. But the library thing happened first. I went in and went undercover. I infiltrated the organization I was supposed to investigate. Then when my partner backed me up I acted very brainwashed. I clung to copy machines, bent over and stuck at the bend. I couldn't stand up. I think it was a sex thing. A brainwashed 'I have to do this' but not real arousal at all. Later I was home taking a shower. But some selfish cousin or friend was there. She kept ordering me to get her things while I was in the shower. She wanted a yogurt drink. Then she wanted it to have protein in it. Then... I had the thought that I was being taken advantage of and should say no. I was still in the shower after all. It was difficult to make a yogurt smoothie in the shower. But I realized I'd just do it because it was easier to do it and make them go away after they got what they wanted then argue for my rights and boundaries and say no. Last part of the dream, someone telling me god wasn't mad at me. But it didn't seem like it. Like the first image with the cherub. It seemed like a threatening, menacing statement.