Is this what you want?

Date: 2/22/2017

Another appearance of Trish last night, Sam's ex-wife. I know why of course, things are ending pretty shitty for her because of me and Sam. Because of our betrayal. Thats something I dont think ill ever stop feeling guilty about. I was at work with Sam, we work together at the store, and Trish came in to the store. I saw her and beelined it for the back where the drinks are. Pretended to clean the vault windows. I saw her when she came in she looked rough. Her face was red, like she was a rosy mixture of extreme rage and sadness. Her hair was a little different, messier maybe, oily. In my dream she might have been drunk. She came in yelling at us both, Sam and I. She came right up to me where I was in the back and kept asking me if I was happy. If this is what I want. If Sam is what I want. I dont know if I anwsered her. I think I told her I was sorry but maybe Im making that up for my own benefit because I never actually got to apologize for taking Sam away from her. Eventually Sam talked her out of the store. She wasnt extremely confrontational so she left in peace. I went to the back office and my phone started to ring, it was Trish. I anwsered it. She asked me again, is this what you want? I told her it is, I think. I told her yes. And its the truth even if my heart isnt fully his and he knows. Even if Im still in love with Sandra. I love the hell out of Sam, and I hope hes right when he says one day, after my feelings for Sandra fade, Ill give my heart to him completely. I hope hes right. I really do.