my life

Date: 8/29/2019

this occurred one day after i saw my ex first love for the first time in months i woke up and had no memory of my life. i was with unfamiliar people in a large nice house. i wasn’t 100% me though something was different. i was trying to figure out my surroundings and who i was and i started to piece together what happened. i can’t remember the details well i basically found out i was in a car accident and got amnesia. i knew the people i was with had died though. it was serious, made me not wanna kno if i wanted to know what happened. i remember visions of a women with dark black hair and bright blue eyes, the reoccurring features. the house i was living in consisted of a rich older man who reminded me of the offman’s father, he was kind of scary. there was a wife and some children as well. i remember the wife had soft brown hair and light brown eyes. i talked to the wife one day and asked how many kids she had and she couldn’t answer, it made me realize something was wrong. why would a mother not know how many kids she had? i began telling her what had happened to me and suddenly the memories of it came to me. i was with my ex boyfriend who in the dream remained my current boyfriend. we were at a party and he let his drunk friend drive us home from the party, he crashed the car and as they were both in the front seat they died, as for me i faced brain trauma. i remember feeling deeply hurt that johnny didn’t care about my safety. and was sad at the outcome. i was crying as i spoke to the women, during my story she had moved her hoodie up and when i looked back up at her face under the hood, her eyes became bright blue. i was confused and moved back from her and asked “..it’s you..?”, she became abby, not the women as ealrier but in the dream world they were practically same. she then tried to kill me i remember her attempting in various ways but the only specific one i remember is she tried to strangle me with some sort of white clothe, she must’ve tried around 7times and every time i would manage to shove her away and switch rooms in the giant mansion but then she would just find me again. it was like she was only half trying, like she wanted to torment me. she hid my car keys on me and made it a weird game, she kept telling me things i didn’t understand about before my crash. she was telling me he never loved me and that’s why he let it happen and she wanted to kill me because she hated my miserable life and she was happy to see me like this. it all had such a weird energy to it tho and i started trying to reason with her and speak to her and talk her out of it. i could tell her insanity could be manipulated. i tried to work with it. i began trying to get her to think about me different in between murder attempts. when she tried to kill me again i just rubbed her leg. slowly and gave her a look. i rubbed up her leg and started playing with her. i rubbed her clit and around her vagina slowly and teased at her. she was half full of rage and half really into it. she wanted me to fuck her and i could tell she really wanted me to eat her out, she motioned for me to do so and i smoothly said i didn’t think i could to someone who had been trying to kill me moments earlier. i said i needed my keys and she knew i was right and i had to go. it took a lot of work to get her to get the keys, as she would keep half changing her mind and i’d have to convince her i was right about this. when i finally got them she kept trying to convince me to stay, i knew she was so unstable that i’d be murdered if i did that. she offered me an expensive purse to take with me and i said no as it felt like a trap. she insisted i needed it and when i said no forcefully i felt proud at my willpower, i felt like i passed a test. i walked down the driveway as two cars pulled in. i felt really embarrassed to be seen my clothes were torn and messed up in the chaos. i began looking for my car down the street which divided into another street. as i walked towards it i noticed tons of cars and people covering the road. marshall stood off to the side of the road and stared at me. he just looked at me with complete hatred. sitting on a bright red car the resembled the build of a delorean was kieran. he sat on the back end of it with his feet hanging off. he looked sad. he wasn’t him. i yelled kieran! hoping for something. i jumped up onto his lap not caring if marshall saw. i looked at him and he was swollen. his body was not only larger but his skin looked puffy as if he had an allergic reaction. he wasn’t big strong kieran anymore, he seemed weak. his eyes were completely blood shot and he really just looked awful, he looked wrong, his hair was cut very short as well, he wasn’t my kieran. as i wrapped my arms around him it felt bad... it felt like there was no emotion to our embrace, it was empty. i was sad but then i just felt as if i deserved it. when i looked up again marshall continued glaring at me. i ignored him, he said “cmon kieran” and i looked at kieran with pain in my eyes and said “what are you doing here?” and he just looked at me very sadly, he was empty and spacey, he was in his own world so far away. he turned and simply walked off. i turned back to the crowd of people. i figured it was so crowded they somehow moved my car, in the dream world it made sense. as i pushed through people trying to get there i realized these were all halifax people. all people you’d see at other halifax events, i saw larson and java walk by in the groups. i ignored them. these two guys who i feel i recognized in the dream but can’t recall walked up to me. i remember them both feeling white not in skin colour but in aura, i’m not sure if they were dressed in white or if it was just the aura or what but when i think of them i think of the colour white. they looked like they had a mission. they told me they knew what happened with abby and that they had an idea. and began dragging me half forcefully along with them. they took me to a brick building close to where the mansion was. the taller of the two who i remember better pulled out a bright white rope and began making a noose. and they were saying it was perfect you can hang yourself here and it’ll never matter now ( they wanted me to kill myself i guess because i was like a ghost i was half already dead and everything abby did left me in bad shape and it was just better for me to not be there) and i remember being like .. but i survived what happened i’m okay now i’m not dead right and they were holding the white noose waiting for me and bringing it closer and they were like so what ur still fucked up now just do it .. it won’t be better u know this is what’s right and i started panicking and not wanting to die and i was trying to exclaim that i didn’t want this and i was hoping i could change my life and i didn’t care what happened and i would work it out and i was so so hurt from everything that had happened in my life but at the actual coming to with death i didn’t want it. and as they inched closer with the rope a group of strangers ran over and began yelling to them asking what they were doing. and that’s all i recall before waking up.