Unspoken Goodbyes

Date: 4/19/2018

I dated a guy for six months, and he ended up just being a total jerk and shouting me out. After about four weeks of me trying my hardest to be supportive and tolerant, I quit putting myself through that pain. That was literally one week ago. Of course, it broke my heart. Yesterday, he posted a picture of him holding this BEAUTIFUL girl’s hand. It made me mad and hurt twice as much as i already was. So, last night, I was dreaming and I told him how much he hurt me and how much he had meant to me and I let it all out, and he manipulatively apologized and took me back. The slightly conscious part of me was screaming no, but my heart was so content with it. He was my home after all. Then, it was like my brain finally intervened and something ripped us apart and I got in my car and drove to this guy’s house (he’s my best friend and we both got our hearts broke at the same time, so he’s been wanting to be f buddies but I’ve been saying no.) He opened the door, and all I did was look him in the eyes and say, “Yes.” And then I woke up. It was so odd and played with my emotions