Date: 3/14/2019
By Fitful
So I'm away from home and I make a friend. We jump in a puddle in the rain on the playground and I decide I need to try and have a friend. I'd gotten out of the practice. So she takes me home to visit her family. I think I bring some friends with me. They aren't real friends, more like coworkers. Anyway her family is very... Rich and happy. They live underground, in the puddle. They have a very very nice house, and grounds. The puddle is real but also fake, like a window skylight made of a mud puddle. Their property is another sun light space beneath the puddle. It's hard to describe. They all sit on the couch and I sit across from them on a love seat with my coworker. My pets run lose and are very happy for the freedom. We chat and chat and chat for hours. I wonder if this is what having friends is for, just all this talking. I feel bored and like I want to go home already but we don't and I am dedicated to making friends. I chat with my new friends mother about healthy juice for her kid. I tell her it's easy, just juice some apples at home, or juice a cucumber and add apple slices. Less sugar. She had gone on for a bit about how banana smoothies make you fat. She thanked me for my advice, but I think her forced friendliness was fake. They kept asking us to stay. We kept talking and dressing up in costumes. I kept falling asleep. I'd sleep for hours wake up and fall asleep again. The butler complained about me. Apparently sleeping on sofas was abhorrent to him. I couldn't stay awake and everyone just treated me as special. I wanted to go home. Finally I get a moment to myself in the bathroom. Even the bathroom was very nice. I feel disturbed and want to leave. My friend who came with me, my coworker is a gay man. It came out recently at work by the water cooler he wants to marry my cousin Josh Grobin because he's so tall. I had guessed it somehow. I was surprise he knows Josh. If all the Josh's I knew back home he had to pick that one, the one I knew who was related. It was a huge secret however and he had a plan to get the guy to marry him, a plot. I wasn't really in on it. Like I said, I didn't really have friends, just people who kept me around. Finally we get to leave. The family insists we stay a few days longer, we been there for three days, but we end up leaving. Im hungry. I think I didn't eat for those three days. I want to go home and eat banana smoothies with Oatmeal and Chia seeds. They tell us we have to come back and often. Also buy costumes. They always wear costumes here. I will need to buy a lot. I agree but I'm thinking in dread shout the cost of all those costumes. Costumed I won't need for any place else. I tell myself I am excited. For a moment I believe it. ~ I'm at home on my bed with my gay guy friend who wants to marry my cousin and a very fat female friend. They both gsb endlessly like skme teen movie even though they aren't teens. I don't say much, I am treated like a pet not a person. Apparently it's what I want. She is sitting on me, we're both naked, and she easily weighs 285lb. It's vastly uncomfortable but it's what I want, no what I realized I want in life, to be sat on and kept like a pet. It must be comfortable for her to sit on me, I think, she must like it because she keeps doing it. I hate it but I love it or something and I don't like her but I feel I should so I'm lying about how much I love it even to myself. She is too fat and its disgusting but I pretend I am not disgusted and that I love being sat on and squished. After all I realized I did love it. And I would genuinely hate being on top, even the thought of being on top for a minute makes me want to vomit. Logically that means I belong here. She sits up, her fat butt bones dig into my belly and it cuts off all my air and it hurts. She never gets off though Nad doesn't notice I'm hurting. I think about protesting, asking for a break, but I am afraid to hurt her feelings. Besides I don't need a break as I love this. I keep lying to myself. ~ Later at a fancy party I'm looking for Deep. He's the guy who wants to marry my cousin Josh Grobin.