Suffocation, lasting desire

Date: 8/6/2017

I sat down on a chair in the living room. Father came over me with several blankets and wrapped them around me fast. I could barely breath and was being yelled at. He wanted to know about my gnostic practices? I stopped struggling but continued to suffocate, then I awoke. In a gravel landscape I climb up stairs and see many women I've known in the past. I am preparing to die and am ready to be set free. Then, the last women, Nan... she aroused my attention and I became frustrated because I needed to have her before I could die. There was a wedding, I was some kind of chosen prince. There was no woman, only the essence of her and a colorful greenish fabric cloth. She brought in by the altar and told me she must be torn apart now. I did not understand, she tore herself apart and flew away, I did not no what to say to the crowd. I followed her and at some point got lost in an area with multiple pools.