"Damn! You're even better than Honey G!"

Date: 11/2/2016

I was in a car with my friend, Nick. We were sat in the backseat and I was completely oblivious to who was driving the car. This didn't seem to bother me, though, and we start chatting as usual. But then his girlfriend, Amy, suddenly appeared at the window seat on the other side. (Nick was in the middle - AWKWARD!) She was quiet but surprisingly pleasant - I almost let slip about his plan to propose to her. "Have you been to Italy yet?" I asked, but he quickly gave me 'THE EYES'. " No not yet, Amanda, not YET!" He said, with an agitation in his voice. My blip was soon forgotten as he tried to cuddle me. But, as much as I wanted to, I resisted. I didn't want his girlfriend to think there was something going on when there wasn't. We arrived at their house - which looked different than usual - although it was still a cottage, it was slightly bigger. There were lots of people. It was Amy's birthday - a special event. Maybe her 30th? Her overprotective father (who I assumed to be Scottish) was there and I just knew he didn't like me. They were pinning up decorations using a step ladder, at one point I tried to help, but my efforts were redundant. Her mum came in with this hideous tartan dungaree dress she had made especially for the occasion. "Is she really going to wear that?" I thought, shocked at the realisation. Amy walked in with a new hair cut - it was a really unflattering boyish haircut which reminded me of something that my mother-in-law sported back in the 1980's. "She looks awful!" I thought, unable to take my eyes off of her dodgy do. "No wonder he doesn't fancy her anymore!" We all got up to go into the kitchen, where the food was being served - vegetable stew - it was delicious. Two guys were there, each were trying to get my attention. They were standing by the American-styled fridge. One of them was more attractive than the other and I was naturally more drawn to him. "How did you enjoy the meal?" He asked. "It was really yummy!" I replied, but his attention had waned and he turned his back to me. I was back in the car with Nick and - this time - my son, Alex, who was sat in the backseat. (No sign of Amy!) As we drove to an unknown destination, I found myself getting all flustered and hot. "Open the window!" Nick suggested. So I unwound the window (old school style) to let some cool air in. We then talked about how the party went and I wanted - so badly - to mention his girlfriend's dodgy haircut... but I didn't. Next scene: I was walking through a large department store - which looked like Lloyds bank and Comet emerged together. I noticed two smart men walking passed me, they were dressed in the same attire. I felt like I knew one of them. Was it the guy from Amy's birthday party? Next scene; Kylie asked; "Have you still got that wool with the acorns on it?" I answered; "Yes, I think so." ....and then I thought; "I really can't be arsed to find it!" Next scene; My friend Tony and I were at my house in the dining room - perhaps preparing to make some notes? He then reached over to my sleeve, yanked it up and said "I didn't realise you had so many tattoos!" When I looked down at my arm, there were no tattoos to be seen. Feeling too exposed, I quickly rolled my sleeve back up. Next scene; My friend Laura (the hippy one) was sat on a stool outside of Primark wittering on about her American relative (like one of those religious nuts who preach on the streets!) Instead of her usual calm self, she was being really theatrical (was she drunk?) "This is strange!" I thought. "I never knew she had an American relative... and where's Karl?" I wondered. "Laura's always with Karl!" Sure enough, he wasn't too far away. He was sat in a muddy ditch and coming up with some new song lyrics. He then sang a song about me, which came out as more of a rap. "Damn! You're better than Honey G!" I thought, ignoring the fact that he was sat in mud and stroking an alligator. I was too in awe of his musical abilities to care. In the garden, I could hear strange voices coming coming from the attic room window of the house next door - it sounded like a group of boys, but their voices were distorted, alien almost. "I have weird dreams too" my blogger friend, Darrel Hoffman (from America) said from behind me. He had appeared from nowhere. "I need to write this down!" I think to myself. With a pen and paper I wrote down all of the previous dreams to find that I had woken up and had to remember and write them down all over again. Argh!