Subconscious Warning?

Date: 8/12/2017

By GemmaAlice

A while ago, I chose to leave the Christian faith because it no longer made sense to me. I began to see the damaging effects it had on the mind such as fear, shame and control. But occasionally, I will have a certain dream like the one I had last night. In the dream, I am always in a situation in which I am facing death. Once I realize it's about to be over for me, I become terrified that my apostasy was the wrong decision and that my soul is about to descend into hell. As a result, I always end up calling out to Jesus to save me despite the fact​ that I'm doing it for the wrong reason. I'm doing it out of fear and selfishness...not because I actually love Jesus and recognise him as a god. So am I wrong? Is there a Biblical Heaven and Hell? Will I regret my decision to "fall from grace" on my death bed? I won't know until I am dead.