I’m a fucking creep

Date: 10/27/2020

Last night I had a dream in which I was the villain. In the prologue of this dream I am in a kindergarten class. Master Mullen is the teacher. I talked to this girl beside me about her drawing and told her she could be an artist someday. MM scolded me for talking during class. Then we went to play some game that required us to hold hands in a circle, and I rushed out of my seat so I could get to hold MM hand. I experience a time skip to where I am the age I’m at now. I don’t remember this happening but I had found and drugged MM, and I was carrying him in my arms. I took him this underground part of my house, not a basement but a long hallway that lead to a small room. Half of the room was separated by jail cell bars, but unlike a jailcell the walls were clean and painted, the floors were carpeted. Everything about it seemed like a normal room except for the lack of windows and the metal bars. Inside the cell there was a bed, a full bookshelf, some canned food, and a door to what I knew was a bathroom (though I never went inside). Every day I would read to him, speak to him. Sometimes I was in his cell with him, sometimes I wasn’t. He never spoke. I knew time was passing but I couldn’t tell you how much. My only thoughts were of how desperate I was for him to love me. Eventually he pinned me on the bed, and although he never said I knew he was thinking that maybe.. maybe if he would have sex with me I would let him go. He tried but he couldn’t get hard. I could tell he was miserable. I felt so disgusted and ashamed with myself that I woke myself up.