He's back.

Date: 7/10/2018

*disclosure* when I was 16 my ex boyfriend was abusive verbally and physically. He raped me multiple times. I reported it and he was in juvie then sentenced to a year in a group home which he shouldn't be let out till October but got out in April. Ever since I found out he's out I've been having nightmares over and over again. ----- The dream started as me now it's a normal day I'm getting ready for work which is a local coffee shop. Everything's normal I walk to work with my headphones in I get there everything's normal. Until I'm on the register I look up to see him. The one who ruined me. The one who left me bruises on my body and in my self worth. The one who took my innocence and dignity. I freeze and forget to breathe. No one at my job knows about him so everyone was wondering what was wrong with me. I finally managed to spit out "you need to leave" and my co workers were so confused telling me not to say that. I yelled at him and told him to leave before I call the cops. One guy who I work with noticed I was shaking viciously and I must have a good reason so he escorted him out. Later that night I was closing and I was alone and he came in. I was cleaning and getting everything prepped for the next day when I felt one hand on my hip and one around my neck. I recognized the same rough hands and soft but tense touch. I froze. He told me not to fight it. I bent me over but I tried to push him off. I kept saying no. He told me it'd be worse if I fought it. I grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes the same cold look he always had. He smirked and kissed me. I was crying as he bent me over and did it all over again.