Star of the show, but not of the family

Date: 8/27/2017

By MsBananaNanner

There is a big play coming up at work (I work for a theatre company irl, though I cannot act, sing, or dance to save my life) and for whatever reason, I've been recruited to be in it. It's all very last minute, but I guess I've been under studying for my part as I know the lines and songs and such. It's the night of the first performance, and the whole cast is back in this giant room. I'm on a couch with some of the other actors and actresses, mostly just geeking out because they are so cool, and woah I'm going to perform with them. People keep asking where Dave is (my past boss) as he is always there opening night. I explain that he doesn't work there anymore, and that I've taken over his job until they hire someone. I also explain that I've been additionally hired as the transport driver, who drives the actors around and such, so I don't really have any experience with actual acting. They assure me that I will do amazing. I'm nervous af. The whole cast gets lined up in rows, to practice choreography, but then hundreds of elementary kids are let into the room for a meet and greet thing. They join us as we go over choreo, while all the parents take pictures from the edges of the rooms. It was overwhelming at first, but then it was really fun. I had kids on my shoulders, and they were all laughing and having so much fun. Then the kids leave and we all get funneled into other green room places, for costumes, hair, and makeup. I feel so lost, I don't know how any of this works but don't really want to ask and look like an idiot. Eventually I figure out that I have to go get my barcode sticker from the one lady so that then I can take it to the makeup artists and they'll scan it and know exactly what makeup I'm supposed to get. When I sit down in the makeup lady's chair, the description that comes up is simply, "bacon". "Hmmm. This should be interesting," she says. She gets out some palettes of eyeshadow and starts putting different shades of red and orange and brown on my eyelids. My costume is this big poofy pink dress. I also had a red ribbon tied around my neck like a choker necklace. Some of the other girls are dressed as if this is Wicked, or just wizard of oz something or other, but others are completely different. Some are flapper girls, someone is medusa. I have this fancy blonde updo wig on, with a little tiara, so I assume I'm a princess of some sort. We're at the back of the darkened theater. The show is already underway. I'm so incredibly nervous, how in the world did I get roped into doing this??? The girl next to me is trying to calm my nerves, telling me I'll do great. I'm convinced I'm going to die of stage fright. I look at the order of songs in the program. "I don't even know what song I'm supposed to sing! Or where I come in!" "You're this one right there," the girl says, pointing to the last song. "Oh, okay," I say with a sigh of relief. The moment comes. I have to go on stage and sing my solo. I can't stop wondering why in the world they'd give ME a solo...of all people! The music starts, and I beginning singing my song titled "My Cassian". I can't remember all the words of it, but the tune was rather like Ginny's song "Harry" from A Very Potter Musical, mixed with "Dont You Worry Bout Me" by Lukas Graham. I was stunned to hear my voice. I could SING. And like, REALLY GOOD. Like, seriously good, Idina Menzel times 10 billion, good. My song was this really emotional love song to my love, Cassian, and I was so distraught over him. And like I said, my voice was soooooo amazing I can't even explain it. I was convinced I was lip singing, but I wasn't. The crowd went absolutely ecstatic when I finished, giving a standing ovation and everything. I could feel my face going red, so I tried to hurry off stage as quick as I could. As soon as I'm off stage, I yank the wig off, and loosen the ribbon. Backstage, all my actor friends congratulate me, saying I was amazing. Im out of breath, my heart still racing, but I thank them. I see my parents and my grandparents heading towards me, so I hurry to meet them. I'd only known that day that I was going to be in the play, so I'd been happy they'd been able to come last minute. My dad gives me a huge hug, saying I was great--but quietly and very reserved. I turn to my mom with a huge smile, asking if she liked it. She doesn't smile, just glares at me. "You should've done the right thing," she says disapprovingly. My smile fades. "What do you mean?" "I had to miss work today, to see...this? I didn't even get to work until two." "I'm...I'm sorry. I thought you'd like it. I thought you'd be proud of me..." She looks at my hair, messed up from the wig, then to the red ribbon on my neck. "Did you change this because of what I said about it not going with your lipstick?" "What? I uh--I--no, I..." "Whatever. I'm leaving." My mom storms out, my heart feeling broken. My grandparents give me consoling hugs, saying quietly that they thought it was a lovely play. They all leave to go catch up with my mom. Tears brimming in my eyes, I wander over to the gift shop which is right Next to the meet and greet room/green room. There are other actors and their families there too, exchanging flowers and such. I curl up under a rack of tshirts. I have a stuffed bunny in my hands, which I guess was part of my costume, but I'd never really noticed it until now. I sob into it, tears literally streaming down my face. I thought she'd be proud of me. Everyone else had loved my singing, saying it was the best part of the show. Yet it wasn't good enough for her--and I knew that nothing ever would be. Some of my other actor friends had overheard the conversation and tried to comfort me, but it didn't feel like anything would make it any better. I just kept crying.