Obnoxious Personality

Date: 2/2/2021

I have a large dog, tall ears like Anubis, hound, dark, size of bear but definitely a dog. And I have a smaller dog, white. Nervous. I also have a hamster that has a condition, he can't be in sunlight long. I sit on him like he's an egg. It doesn't hurt him, though I do wonder if it does and check. No he's hiding in the darkness underneath me. I plan to buy it a dark habitat, one that repels light and is blacklight neon so hamster can be seen. I'm in school ( a high school) and in a journal, a book, I write dreams and hopes and plans for future. My friend and roommate also does in his. But with more meticulous care. He writes on a glass sheet he fit into his journal. So he can erase if needed. His one or two plan are super detailed whilst mine are numerous and wildly imaginative. It's pointed out as I get older the dreams become dull and uninspired. I look at them and study them, in pictographs laid down on a timeline. Some of the ones I made recently are very imaginative. I dispute that claim. Mine dreams turn out to be problematic. They are crazy and no one likes them. No one takes them seriously. They also are all over the place. I don't stick to any one of them. I am very obnoxious. Loud, crazy, laugh at everything especially not funny things kinda cruel joker. Desperate and needy for attention. Even I hate me. But I reacts to that emotion by being more loud. I annoy everyone around me. They don't want to be near me or care about me. If they care it's because they have to. I often sleep in the classrooms at night instead of going back to my dorm. A kind teacher/janitor let's me. Says he will look the other way, he won't be back to clean til morning anyway. The classrooms are warm and wood paneled. They feel safe and quiet. I fetch coffee for a nurse. There is a nurse at the school. She's like an janitor too. She gives me two dollars, one for her coffee one for mine. I plan on not buying myself any. Its her money. I'd feel weird. My oommate has a hot girlfriend. Red head. They were secretly fucking behind a curtain tent in the room. I came in (maybe with someone) definitely talking to someone. I was telling a personal story but very loudly and obnoxiously. It was also controversial and embarrassing. She finally stormed out, offended. I just laughed. I worried for a minute she knew my business, then decided it didn't matter. My roommate isn't impressed.