Rock bottom

Date: 8/13/2018

I had this same dream three times in one night. I was moving out into a college dorm, and within the first day my roommate just left me and I was alone. No one would answer my text messages but they just kept posting online and ignoring me including my mom and I was so sad. Then I tried to go to school but nothing made sense to me and I was never given the list of books to buy and everyone just mocked me and said I was stupid and lazy and I couldn't make any friends. Everyone hated me, and then when I went back to my room I realized that it didn't feel like home to me at all, and my family had already left and moved away. I didn't feel at home anywhere. As I cried and cried, a man broke in and raped me. I kept screaming but all I heard was laughter. I think it was showing that subconsciously I'm terrified of moving out and being an adult, because I'm afraid to be alone and mocked. I don't want to be an outcast again, and I definitely couldn't handle being raped again. I had no idea I was this scared.