My Purgatory

Date: 4/22/2019

*I wish there was a way to show the difference in who’s speaking but to get started, the first statement is meant to be Death or a reaper and i am responding. This is basically my conversation with Death. "You have to jump, Sam." "Of course you want me to jump." "Everything will be ok." "Of course you would say that, you have to." " No i don't. I mean it, everything will be ok. Just jump." "Im not ready." "No one ever is, Sam." "Where will i go?" " i dont know." "Liar." " Just look at your family, they’re all happy." "But why are Britt and Dad separate?" "Can they see each other?" "No, look closely." "Your father is with the family he always wanted. Your sister is with the family shes always had." "Who do i choose?" "Neither." "Neither?" "You’re not meant to be with them, let them be happy." "You can be happy too, you just have to jump." "What about my mom?" "Shes not here yet." "Can i wait for her?" "No." "Why?" "She still has a life to live." "Will she ever see me again?" "No." "Im not ready." "You have to jump, Sam." "Im not stupid, i know once i jump I've accepted my death." "Yes." "Will i really be happy?" "Yes." "Jump into the water, Sam. Everything will be alright." "I just cant. Im not ready to not to see them." "You have to. Look theyre all watching you. Waiting for you. " " Do a flip into the water." " Show them how spectacular you are." "How spectacular i am?" "Mhm." "Theyll watch?" "Mhm." " i have to jump." "I know what to do." I looked down at my entire family watching me, waiting for me to show them. And i decided to do an aerial flip because that brought back some of the greatest memories with brit and i knew it would impress dad. I stood at the edge ready to jump. As i jumped my foot slipped and I flailed head first into the water, embarrassed. Theyd never know how spectacular i was because in the last moment i messed it up and now they were gone forever. I sank and sank into the blue tank. And i realized.. My death didnt get to be spectacular because death wasn't spectacular. Death is just death. And thats what i was, Dead.