forgotten flute

Date: 5/14/2019

a variation of a recurring dream— back in high school and it’s time for marching band rehearsal // first period, early morning (always was close to dreamtime) I’m running late and realize I have forgotten my flute // panic, running to check my locker the hallways become distorted and I get lost, I am nervous that the security guards will catch me without a pass, and the feeling of needing my flute is the most desperate and specific feeling, like I might die any minute (needing the flute = penis envy? no, more likely a fear of disappointing the authority-figure band directors // the sentiment of having misplaced one’s own voice or sense of identity)