Darkness and Bizarreness

Date: 6/12/2017

I was eating a lot of cookies/fudge brownies. We or I had made them, and now I was eating them, carefully. They were cookie doe cookies, covered on top by this layer of chocolate fudge. They were safe for me to eat because I made them. I cut them into little bites, I didn't really eat very many, but I was a child so everything looked bigger. I opened the oven and found more holiday cookies I had made and forgotten about, a ton of holiday cookies piled high on the cookie sheet. I ate a few of those as well. ~ Someone had managed to do a dark ritual which conjured up Draco Malfoy as a child. I could see their planned ingredient laid out. It included zombie, and Draco malfoy, and child version of him, and a few other dark things. He was kinda trapped in that demonic little role once created, like a demon, unable to rise out of the pigeonhole. As if growth and learning and becoming couldn't happen. It wasn't really him of course, not a real person it was a golem, but it was still cruel to do in my opinion. ~ I was a child wearing these boy boxers, even tho I was a girl, and on top these ragged cut off Jean shorts. They were baggy and I wasn't used to wearing shorts, they kept bunching at the juncture of my thighs and torso when I sat down. I was very uncomfortable, as if I was walking around in underwear, and I kept meaning to put on some pants. I was in a bed room with my father - who wasn't my father but Severus Snape - and also sometimes flickered into a woman who either was my lover or would be when I grew up. I was a child so I suppose it didn't matter much yet. I was still uncomfortable in the shorts and boxers and I wanted to go out of the room and find some pants, but I was afraid someone would see me- the house was kicking with people here for the holidays. In the course of trying to pull up pants which just weren't there I pulled my panties down accidentally before pulling them back up, they had a panty liner on them to catch accident blood drips. My father on the bed flickered to the female lover and asked me if I'd ever even seen a woman's pussy before. She faded back to Severus Snape and managed his disgusted sneer. I said of course and went on about my one experience - in the dream I'd only been with one girl all the way- and how her vagina had looked and declared it had been the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life. The father flickered again almost changing to the female lover and, eyes wide, stated at me. As if hurt or betrayed by what I'd done. I ignored that and went to find some pants out of the laundry. I did, and found soft warm clean clothes folded in a basket and actually put on the pajama pants I was wearing to sleep in irl. ~ There was a dog shelter, I was visiting but I didn't know why. I was lead to a small long room full of caged miserable dogs lying on top of each other. They were in rough shape physically, some old breeder dogs gone to rolls of fat and heavy sagging stomachs full of puppy milk. They were dirty too, and I didn't really want to touch any of them. I didn't have to, the shelter workers touched the dogs, they went to a cage where two massive dogs lay on a bed. They were a breed called a "Morningstar" which I suppose might have been comparable to a Newfoundland I think. Some massive dog with a curly tan coat. These had dirty matted coats, were as big as houses - well not really- and were suffering from those rolls of fat and puppy milk. One lay piled directly on top the other, opposite end to opposite end. And they were being adopted by someone who wanted dogs of this breed. They lumbered off painfully when the shelter people directed them out of the cage. ~ The dog shelter had lots of hurt dogs coming in to be fixed, like it was a hospital almost. My father was in a triage room fixing hurt dog vaginas. There were a lot of them coming in. I was in the hall avoiding dogs, for some reason I didn't feel very much like for them. One came down the hall from where the entrance was, bleeding from its vagina. It seemed in a lot of pain. I turned it over and realized what was wrong, it needed more room, it's vagina was too small right there and it was hurting it. Or at least that's what I thought. There was a pair of scissors right next to me on the floor and I cut the little dog trying to ease the pressure, but I cut too much and hurt it further. It was in even more pain and it was bleeding and didn't look right so I took it to the shelter desk, and left it on a ppile of blankets for them to fix. I didn't let them see me, I was ashamed I had hurt the dog. Miserable I went back laying the scissors where I had found them, and into the triage room where my father was working on a dogs vagina properly. He was peering in to it, with another shelter doctors, and you could see how the surgery was supposed to go. The inside of the dog was a huge cave, meat and muscle coated the walls and the bottom - really the top because the dog was upside down- was full of organs and a pool of blood. Then quick and easy they close the hole to a small manageable size after having checked inside. I felt even more miserable knowing how it was supposed to be done. The shelter doctor and my father eyed me suspiciously too, knowing I was upset and guilty about something. When I went back into the hall, escorted by my father and the doctor, I was met with cheers and little dogs, including the dog which I had hurt, running up to me saying I did a good job. They assumed I had brought in the dog after finding it hurt and saved its life. They little dog was sewn up and was find, running around, happy. I felt both relief and guilt. I didn't like lieing but I was happy I was t going to go to jail or something for hurting the little dog. ~ I was on a porch with my father and we were swinging a porch swing. Little dogs from the neighborhood were climbing up beside us to sit with us. I didn't like it very much and moved one out of the way so I could sit closer to my father. Some curly haired girl - well woman she was adult I was a child still- came up to my father and asked him a few things. I was clear she was interested in him. I was very jealous. I don't think he cared for her attention that much though. ~ There was a food truck, and I was being served exquisite expensive Chinese good, which I had never heard of. Some was sweet fruit cooed and in sauce, other stuff, and he kept cooking for me and I would taste a bit and he would pack it up for me to take him. I had a lot of food to carry there the end, the Chinese cook got out of his truck and carried what I couldn't to the packed bus. The bus was carrying strangers and the whole thing was packed full of luggage and other things. I had to wedge the bottle og apple juice into it very hard. The cook was giving samples to the people on the buss though the window, literally feeding them bites with chopsticks. He was a very attentive food truck cook. ~ I was passing by a perfume stand, it was some electronic rotating coin machine. But it had really expensive amazing perfume and other affordable stuff. On the top shelf were empty glass perfume bottles, cased in lacy metal holders. I was creeping around the food truck to get the other side when I saw them and remembered I had always been wanting to buy one and fill it with a perfume I'd been attracted to and wanted to begin wearing. I went up to the coin machine, it was dark whereever I was, no one was shopping or around, and I was trying to find the perfume I knew I had liked. I was aware I kept it listed on a 'things I want to buy' list on my phone but didn't want to bother to find it. But amazingly I found the perfume sitting right there in front of me, it was called "Wolf Spirit" and it came in its own plastic bottle and cost only $5.08. I was shocked it was so cheap. I was pleased because it's price mentioned I could have it too, with the bottle and another perfume I had been wanting. ~ I was doing some ancestral devotional with resin figurines on an alter the figureines represented a wedding of my family and another combining. The bride was horrid, and the groom not much better. I didn't know them that well, but I set up all the figurines regardless, posing them as if it were a wedding photo shot of the whole party. I was aware of a Voodoo witch in purple shawls and the fact race didn't really matter. The groom's father was black and looked to be from new Orleans, but the groom was as white as could be. My side of the family were crouched demonic looking things, shriveled creatures which didn't even resemble human. They did look scary, even as figurines. I felt they were the good guys - in comparison to the shallow grooms family - and I was fond of them the most. I lit some incense, finding loose sticks there on the window sil, and lit the incense chanting and praying a quick short phrase. I don't know it it was simply worship or a ritual to magick something into existence but I was aware of what I was doing, and the seriousness of it. It was honest not okay acting. ~ This time I was my father - who was still Severus Snape- and I was being challenged in a church. The church was empty but some black man was staring at me, knowing I could read his mind, and moving his head about crazy as if to role his tough thoughts at me through the head shakes, in as threatening a manner as possible. I just sneered and didn't read his mind, he looked demonicly possessed and I wasn't keen on being in there with that crazy.