Memory Lane with Oprah

Date: 10/10/2018

In this dream I was bearing witness to several memories in my life, while being given the gift of being on the phone with Oprah the whole time as she witnessed them with me and comforted me and talked to me about them. Each memory included people I loved, but none were accurate to reality, they just included real dynamics of the relationships with people that I had. The first memory I remember was a basketball game where I got high beforehand and everyone did awful. After it we went into a classroom and I was making jokes. It was Mrs. Godwin’s class and I used to act up in it. I hadn’t started on the phone with Oprah yet until the next one. The next memory I can remember was being in my yard and preparing to undergo some type of operation on my heart. A nurse was collecting my belongings as they were getting ready to shoot some beam into my heart to fix it. They said it would make me have a depressed mood for a few days but other than that I would be ok. I was speaking to her and I said “you know what i’ll do? I’ll just take some ashwaganda root.” She knew what that was and was impressed I knew, because in the memory I was only in 8th grade, but had my current mind. I was laying in my yard on a suitcase and I never felt the beam but the reality started to shift and I was finding my way into new memories. In the new memories I was invisible to everyone and I could see my old self. In some of them I got to act out a new memory. But in the ones where I was observing myself I was on the phone with Oprah and she was helping me to get through them and comforting me. I had no problem with her seeing the intimate details of my life, it was as if we had been friends for ages. I felt extremely blessed to be talking with her as I went through the process. I remember in one memory commenting to her how grateful to her I was and that this must be a dream I was in. I can’t remember exactly her response but I think we both concluded that life is no different than a dream. Memories came up with me being kind of a bully to matt klepper when we were young, goofing off in mrs godwin’s english class in 8th grade, hanging out with noah. But the most poignant memory and most powerful memory, one that made me cry, was the last one. I was witnessing this one, it was one with my mother. We were in our living room and she said “Are you not going to have another dinner on christmas?” She was trying to look out for me. The most noticeable thing about this memory was that she was talking to me, however I wasn’t even there. I was there witnessing it, but she couldn’t see that version of me, she was speaking to an older version of me, but that version was nowhere to be seen. I believe this is indicative of a lack of presence I would often have as a kid talking to my mom. She started telling me she was upset about me lying, drinking often, trying to maintain an image with friends at the expense of family relationships, especially mine with her. She said she learned not to avoid deep issues and that she had for too long. I began to cry as I felt what she was saying, and it made it so much more powerful that the me she was talking to was not there. I responded what I should have responded, and she didn’t hear it of course. But that is where the dream ended.