It's Just A Little Murder, Mother

Date: 6/6/2017

I was living with my mother in a house of her old boyfriend. They had gotten together a while back and already broken it off. She was getting married to someone new. She was so happy. She kept talking intensely about marrying this new person, I was a bit shocked to hear she was marrying a woman. The woman's virtues were extolled and made much of, and I could see it bothering the man, her ex. But mostly I was floored she was marrying a woman, she was homophobic to the extreme last I had heard. The woman was also older (in the dream my mother was young and the "older woman" about 50 or so). It just shocked me a much. I listened to my mother dance about happily as I looked through a white plastic bag of stuff which had been in storage. I found a lot of individualally packaged cheese, still slightly cold. I frowned at the cheese incredibly suspicious. I didn't think it was still good to eat. And I also found a CD, when I was going through the man's collection in his entertainment center. It was called "All My Spirit" and it was literally the same album I had in my room which I said I loved, I thought it might be the same album, and I had borrowed it, but it wasn't there were two. Then the man got tired of hearing about myother and her new love, and they ended up fighting upstairs. Someone warned me not to go up there, the fight was sparking off the walls. I decided I didn't have to courage to go and see it. ~ My mother was being fitted for a wedding dress. She stood on a raised platform, and her body was doubled 20 times in a long line by the mirror. The body doubles all wore different colors of the same dress. My mother wore a white dress with a corset. She was heavily pregnant and the corset was a pregnancy corset. She looked beautiful. ~ I had killed a someone, and a girl had helped me. She might have been the one who did the most work I don't know. I forget why we killed the person but I know it was necessary. A bit later I was hearing about a race, everyone who was anyone had their cars and were at the track ready to go. I didn't want to, but at the last minute I decided I would. Apparently I had entered to race anyone under some assumed name beginning with Orion. After the race had begun I decide did would join, I listened to it on TV as I searched my closet for a race car. I found it, and it's remote and took a lot of time getting the batteries in straight. I had a long electronic battery and needed a smaller regular one to jolt it back to life. I finally got it all on, and began the race (from my bedroom mind) and the race car remote was elaborate and kept exiting me out of the racing window. I was severely behind. What was worse my mother was one of the judges in the race. She didn't look my my mother, her lips were too wide and she had a privilege air about her. She and the other judges made fun of my assumed name, which no one actually knew was me, and I decided against winning even if I could. The girl who came in third was the girl I had killed someone with. Somehow they found out and led her away from the race in handcuffs. She was muttering about how she didn't do it, and it was all me who murdered someone. No one listened to her, gratefully. ~ I was reading some old papers, letters maybe, and found some stuff not in English. I worked out the meaning of it, it was a quote. Translated it said "May All That Kills You Be... "and left the last word blank to fill in. The word which was in another language, one I didn't regonize was the one substituted. I thought it meant "freedom". In fact I was nearly positive. ~ I was in a decaying little girls body with another little girl decaying. We were killing a third little girl who was actually decaying so much she was made of much and it was easy to drive the railroad spike into her forehead. It wasn't a malicious murder, it was just necessary, as if she were a zombie and needed to go, but without fear or anything. Then we died too, right beside her, and slipped our bodies back to adult bodies. Later, people found the three "murdered" children at the park and though tit was some sicko doing ritualistic stuff. I was amused but also contemptuous of their stupidity and small mindedness. ~ I was revolving around someone, some thing. I was without body or really much definition beyond personality perhaps. I was revolving around a mask, a host personality in the body, (the invisible body because while I knew I was in a body it was like hanging in starless space). I kept staying behind her as she revolved, I didn't let anyone see me, she swung around in the body like some merry go round. I kept myself behind her. She as alright, a little dark, a little shallow, a lot girlish and innocent and young. She wasnt me, but she was better than me being the one in front.