Childhood and a public kitchen

Date: 6/9/2025

content warning for some eating disorder themes I was at a summer camp or something working in the kitchen, but I was a younger kid, and it was here instead of the camp I went to for a summer irl, with my childhood friends from here, not there. L was still a bitch. G was still my friend and we both liked each other in that awkward elementary school kind of way. I was microwaving food and finding hamburger buns and hot dog buns. I was looking for lettuce and tomato and that kind of stuff but I was so short and everything was hard to find/put together and clean up... I felt helpless in regards to food. I kept wanting to listen to my music but I kept losing or damaging my phone in the dream. I did get to listen to it eventually and the music felt like some I listen to now and also old ones I can't remember bult familiar and real and gave me dream déjà-vu. The first time I lost my phone was going through a mud tunnel of snakes 🐍 as a tour of some kind of nature phenomena. It was disgusting and I didn't want to go through it. My phone slipped out of my pocket and into the mud. We went back to find it but it was deep in the mud. I see a brand new phone of someone else's on a ledge and take it. It's not mine but idc I steal it. It has no case. It ends up being mine because it is logged in on one of my accounts. I wonder who has been using my account with a phone that isn't mine though. I feel scared carrying it around without a case. I blame the person who wanted to go through the mud tunnel tour for me losing my phone that had my case and all my stuff on it. The phone part was mainly influenced by me waking up several times in the night and wondering where I put my phone irl. I found it when I woke up, it just wasn't in my line of sight when I was in bed so I was worried lol. It was odd dreaming of G though. And L. I felt like an outcast in the dream, like a crazy person even though I knew I wasn't but it felt like the church people and everyone thought of me as crazy bc of eating disorder and mental issues. I felt fat in the dream during an 80s style aerobics class and I think I was fatter than I am in real life. I was upset because no one would listen to my exercise or eating advice because I was "fat" now. I kept thinking to myself how if I just lose some weight then they'd all respect me again bc they would think I just lost weight healthily.