Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 8/16/2018
By Fitful
Steva has a new name, Lily Rose or Lily Ann. Lily Amy? Anyway she's now living at home again with the family. I am home, and this house is anything but a home. its dark and grey and falling apart, lole world war three happened outside and this is the only safe place left. But it didn't, outside looks normal, green and sunny. in comparison this house looks like shit. It full of pests. I room with a friend/sister/lover? I'm not sure who, but she's like me, overweight. For some reason we're often naked and in bed together. I don't feel right around her. she makes me queasey, as if I'm doing something wrong. not wrong in the illegal sense but wrong for my own internal compass. finally I get the sense to move into another room. several are available. she can't believe I did that, follows me into another room thinking I just put a black sheet over a chair for a throne to sit in while I'm in there. I sit in the window seat, in a room I normally wouldn't pick because all the bedding and curtains are white, but framed by the sunlight in the window seat and shrouded by the white curtain I thought she might be polite and leave me be.she didn't, pulling away the curtain and demanding to know where I went. I finally hem and haw and mention I think I should try sleeping somewhere else. I'm suddenly impressed with Steva, although I'm not allowed to call her that anymore, her name is now Lily Rose, or LilyAmy, or something. I see she had managed to plant so many crops in the house. And she has a cow. It grazes on the crops in the attic. I'm a little concerned about it dedicating in the house but when i question her she tells me she has it trained. i am very impressed. she suddenly seems a different person. animals are suddenly important to her, she even feeds the mice in the kitchen, they are so used to it they come up for scraps. she had so many crops growing the house has plenty of food. But it still feels like its struggling, like there is no food or hope or light or compassion. Her gaze to the animals seems technical and detached. its like an experiment for her, she doesn't really care. that is what i feel from her. she's a scientist after all, and she says she's changed but she hasn't really. shes the same as the rest of the family only their opposite. she brings hope for us all, decries their treatment of me (and her) with ultimate scorn, but her gifts are empty. i ask her to teach me to teach my dog to dedicate at a certain time each day. she says i should visit a dog trainer, it can't be done. we wander into a living room that's for show. Nana always kept a nice living room no one was allowed in. actually my grandmother did as well. this hasn't been opened in years it feels like.its dark and dingy and grey and decrepit like the rest of the house. she disappears into a parlor beyond the living room to get something and several small insects or things scurry across the floor. she's going to bring out something to help me, a solution to the family problem, but i suddenly see her clearly. she isn't there for me. she doesnt care. she never did. she never will. and she doesn't have the answers. a white orb, like the glint from a full moon suddenly beams down from a corner of the room, as if there had been a window there for moon light although there wasn't. its obviously not the moon,this transpernt orb, it comes down and some female voice talks to me, angelic like. she tells me how to do a spell. if I'm so sure of my worth, of how relationships will always treat me then i wouldn't keep getting in them again and having the same one. she says I've been trying to find the answer. and if I'm to do any spell any magic at all, i should create the relationship which will give me the ultimate and final answer at its end. i should call to myself a lover which will tell me true, if I'm worth it all. the white glowing orb floats into my chest between my breast and seems to unveil a part of me i didnt know exists. it was like air. ~ I'm a scientist researching on a theory that sugar is the enemy. I'm a bit if a dweeb. I'm in a lunch line and I've taught my daughter to order tea with a sweetener instead of soda. there is a whole row of orange sodas right there,and so many other sugar drinks available. a whole refrigerated case stands open to pick any juice behind up. the cafeteria lady empties a pack of artirical sweetner over the counter but it all falls onto a bottle in the way.my daughter just sweeps it into her tea happily. I push my way to the front of the line as i notice two bully boys stealing peoples lunch money. i push them on and pay for my food all the while expounding on the evils of sugar. i say its outrageous that we pay a dollar, up to 4 dollars, on a soda that is so full of this addictive substance. the lunch lady corrects me, saying some sodas are 8 bucks a can, i am appalled and widely gesticulate about it all. that one day people will look at soda they way they look at heroin. i finish paying and try and juggle all my books plus the food, money, open purse, and bottled drink i purchased which is open so i have to grab the top too. no one wants to help me , i alienated the with my theories, but i manage it barely and leave the country to do more research. much later i am back and i am in a research hall awaiting a lecture. i have a twin brother, also a scientist, he's more shy than me. i am him sometimes. he had been working on things too but hasn't had the gumption to pursue them as doggedly. a female, a girl who might be a friend or more, turns around and flashes her naked boobs at him. i know its encouragement for him to keep persuing his work. i see the look on his face, he is adamant about the discovery now. onstage a female I'm closely associated with, a redhead, who might be my girlfriend is lecturing. actually it's more of an announcement. there has been a lot of plots and politics lately. the sugar problem has a cure and its called red platinum. this crystal has the effect of weed, it cures of all sorts of nonsense of the mind and body but had a slight hallucinogenic effect. they had sent an expedition to another world to harvest a weed forest and mine the red platinum. the money from that would effectively make the researchers quite rich. but they powers that be, those in power that is, didn't want a cure. they sabotaged the expedition and no red platinum was mined, in fact the last of the stuff on earth was about to be smoked by street kids, there literally wasnt much left at all. However, my girl on stage announces her creation of a stable wormhole. a permanent wormhole, to the planet. she invented a device, which looks like a red rock, which established that wormhole and mined all the red platinum on the surface of the planet, and furthermore all the stuff inside. she literally became a multi trillionaire overnight with that move. more importantly she got the cure, enough for the whole world. the auditorium is in an uproar. they are so dumbstruck they just stare. this science is thousands of years too advanced but she somehow did it. she's proud too, grinning and lauditory. "yes i did" she says.