Machete Tattoo

Date: 8/6/2019

I was at a pet shop, and for some reason my friend and I shrink down to hamster size and we start rolling around in the hamster cages, then I appear in a mario kart game, except the game is going on in a freeway so its really dangerous, and its just 2 of my friends and I playing. We accidentally enter a portal, and we appear in the woods, and I turn into a man with a beard. In the woods, theres this whole new species of human, and they're dark but their bodies are kinda deformed and they dont have many clothes on. So they bring me to their leader, who is sitting at the top of this giant tree, and he has snakes hanging EVERYWHERE on that tree. He tells me to sit on this little wooden plank in a tree branch, and he covers it with snakes, just for me. Remember, I'm still a man with a beard here. And I'm like, "uhhhh........... can I not sit there" and he's like "SIT!!!!!!!!!" in this loud, powerful voice, and I'm like "damn ok calm down" and I sat down carefully. The snakes didnt really do much, thank god, they were just there as a scare tactic. Then this huge, fat guy comes up and he marks my arms with a pen and he's like, "you're getting a TATTOO today 😈" and I'm thinking this is just to mark that I've been here, I'm sure he does this to all of his victims. So after the guy draws on my arms, he pulls out a giant ass machete type of blade, and its covered in ink, and he just slices the life out of my arms. They let me off of the tree, and my mom is like, "they didn't sanitize it, did they" and I'm like, "I'm sure its fine I'll just wash it on the way out." We get to this wooden changing room that my friends and I go in to change, but I only brought my baby clothes to change into for some reason. I also had my computer and a bunch of home decor parts with me ?????? And there were a bunch of old Asian ladies also there at the changing rooms and they were all talking and laughing. Then I appeared at this field with my boyfriend, except he's gay and he's like 7 feet tall, and wearing high heels. My friend appears out of nowhere with a giant water hose, and starts watering the concrete. Then we find this building and start watering the building too. Then my boyfriend and I walk into a bar, and everyone there is judging us so hard because my boyfriend is wearing heels. So I'm like screw you guys, he does what he wants ok. And we finally find someone accepting of him and we sit with them. The end.