Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 4/1/2016
By eranovablack
I was walking away from a factory parking lot in my shirt and underwear after spending the night in the cold. I saw my ex walking in front of me in the same direction, somehow able to recognise the back of his head. I was in no mood to see him or be seen by anyone, so I rushed past him, hoping that whatever he was listening to was distracting enough. I feel a large hand on my shoulder and suddenly pulled into a warm embrace from behind. I knew it was him and I had no intention of being touched by him (even though I was craving his warmth) and struggled away. He kept trying to talk to me, but hearing a few keywords escape his mouth and I stopped listening, struggling harder. His grip on me was overpowering as he dragged me towards and across a highway right in front of the factory. My arms were weak; I couldn't fight away or hurt him enough for him to let go. Barely aware that I was on a highway, I stumbled, crying in his grip, as he dragged me to the middle of the highway. And then the strangest thing happened. He started mock-crying with me. At first, as I was sobbing in frustration, I thought he was just crying with me. But as we got to the middle, it sounded so fake and whiny that I stopped, and he stopped right after. At that point I noticed the trucks whooshing past us at breakneck speed, not slowing down even though they were so close to running us down. That was the point when he just released me and let me go. Left me standing right on the edge of the road, stunned. I could feel him staring at me, watching what I do and for a few brief moments I contemplated just taking one step back, right in the center of a truck's incoming front grill. But in my dazed state, my legs dumbly walked forward and somehow into safety. We were now in front of a type of modern pond that was directly below a beige outdoor stairwell. The pond was angular, dark green from its glass bottom and had a sharp shallow end and an extremely sheer drop to a deep end that was twice the depth of the shallow end. There was a gap in the fence surrounding this pond, in which everyone was leaning against, including my ex. He watched me approach him and started talking as I stood in front of the gap, barely registering his words as my mind swam with the previous encounter with the highway. Not a word was uttered from my lips as I gave away the energy to my legs and toppled forward into the cold water. As my body bobbed up and down the surface, I held my breath for the longest time to the point that even I thought was a bit too long. After a few seconds of bobbing about the surface of the water like an apple, I sank like a rock right to the bottom. Facing up, I saw a dark shape splash into the waters above into the shallow end, and it just stood there. That was when I noticed the crystal clear sounds that echoed in the cold, green depths. It was my ex, and he was complaining about how cold the waters were, DESPITE diving in to try and save me from myself. (A quick reality check, I don't exercise and can't swim, whereas he goes to the gym everyday and has a diving license) As I watched him complain about the water's freezing properties, I frowned. Did he just dive in to save me just to SHOW OFF to all those people around the pond? I got really angry at him, the energy channeling to my legs as I kicked off from the bottom, broke the surface of the "freezing waters" at the opposite corner of where he was standing and got out by climbing up the fence. All that while shouting at him as he stared annoyed and sheepish into the water in front of him. "You piece of shit, I was drowning and all you can think about is how cold the fucking water is? If I had died under there while you whined about your slightly chilled toes and fingers, would you have even cared? Because all I can see right now is you not even giving a shit!" I opened the door to the stairs, slamming it shut behind me as I stormed up a few flights of stairs into what looked like a multi-storey carpark. There were three rows of seats facing out from the carpark right next to the stairwell, with a few cheap flatscreen televisions attached sporadically around them. I sat in front of one that was suited for viewing sat on the floor that were attached to some railing right in front of the firstt row of seats, just as I hear steps from the stairs. I knew instinctively that it was my ex coming to find me and probably try and explain himself to the point it wouldn't make any sense. And for a brief moment I wanted him to find me. Console me. Make me feel better. The door opens, he has a towel around his neck and his hair is spiky wet. I register how absolutely soaked to the skin I am in my shirt and underwear, as I watched him walk right past me and to the next door leading to the next flight of stairs. I watched in disbelief as he walked up the stairs while I sat entirely visible from his viewpoint, not even turning his head to scan the environment for me. As he disappeared upstairs, I began to think about how stupid of me to be conflicted in emotion by someone who clearly could not care less unless the "happy façade" that is his life was threatened. Yet I still cared when I woke up.