Grandpa.

Date: 4/9/2022

I dreamed I came out of a room, and my Grandpa was in the hall, wearing a suit. It was a little too small in the coat, looking like the top jacket belonged on a child. He smiled and seemed much better. He said hi! His normal way of saying hi, with a large lilt on the end. I was so grateful to see him, he was conscious and talking. He sounded normal. I hadn't missed out on saying goodbye, he got better. Why had no one told me he was better and I could talk to him? I went to give him a hug. He was so thin, short too, came up barely to my shoulders. While hugging him I felt very dizzy and faint. I felt like we'd tip over. For some reason I couldn't catch my balance. My mom was there. I told her to stead me, since I couldn't let go of my Grandpa. I had both arms wrapped around him, he was so thin. If I let him go, I was afraid he'd fall over so I held on. The more I held on, the dizzier I felt. I told my mom to balance me, just tip me back to upright. I'd reach for the wall, but I couldn't let go, so I told her to just tip me back up. She looked confused, helpless, the way she always looks. I asked several times. Finally I let him go, or he let me go. He walked into the living room and promptly fell over, a controlled collapse to the ground so I could visibly see he didn't hit his head. I scolded my mother. "Look, there, see. That's what I meant." I said. "Empathy. I knew he'd fall over " Then he sat up, spritely. Said he was okay, and he sounded fine. And then gave a technical lecture about pathways in the brain I didn't quite get, that it wasn't empathy - I said "I know. Empathy isn't being an empath-" But he interrupted me continuing his sentence say "- it's shock."