Burger King Takedown

Date: 10/13/2016

My family and I were going through the Burger King drive-thru and all we ordered was a cup of water. The girl at the window said, "Okay, that'll be $32.76". And we were like uh, we ordered a cup of water. She confirmed that a cup of water cost that much, so we paid. Then she climbed in through our car window to put the water cup in the cup holder and put the straw in without taking off the wrapper. "Thanks, come again!" she said. We figured that something fishy was going on, so we sat in the parking lot and watched the drive thru for a while. The girl was frying eggs with her feet instead of any sort of cooking utensils. She poured a big bucket of sugar into the ketchup machine. Finally, after seeing all this weirdness, I went inside by myself. The woman attending the counter looked really tired. I asked why they were doing all this weird stuff, and she just said, "This is how Burger King has always been. We aren't famous for nothing, you know. Please don't question our practices." But her eyes welled up with tears as she said this, as if she was being forced to recite it. A cry for help. I nodded in understanding, and she gave me a small, thankful nod back. I waited until the next day, and asked for a job there. The manager accepted me quickly. He was an older man with thick black eyeliner and eyeshadow around his eyes, making it clear that he was the villain in this scenario. As I was working, he was grabbing buckets of lettuce and cheese and throwing them on the ground, and telling me to pick them up and serve them. I don't know how, but I felt something come over me and I did exactly what he said. I didn't have control of my body; I just picked it up and tossed it on the counter, next to which I was deep-frying napkins. As soon as he left, I felt control again, and immediately jumped out the window and ran up the hillside. The entire staff began to chase me, including the manager. As soon as we were about 100 feet away from the restaurant, however, the staff stopped chasing and turned toward the manager instead. It seemed that he had control over the employees' minds, but only while they were on the Burger King property. The manager stopped in his tracks when he realized that no one was brainwashed anymore. He fell to his knees. "Please," he said. "All I wanted was a restaurant where people can experience a creative, quirky dining environment. You don't have to do this!" The girl from the drive-thru in the beginning raised her egg-covered foot and smashed his head into the ground, killing him. It turned out that all the employees had been kept in the manager's mind control restaurant for months, working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. They were in agony from overexhaustion, but they had to keep working. We took one final look at the manager's bloody, imploded head, and walked off into the sunset.