Date: 4/28/2019
By Fitful
Buying things for a cage, stuff for the sides, to make it more comfortable. Many things for a box I'm packing. Stuff for a binder, little net bag for pens and things. It's all connected somehow. ~ Two little boys I'm watching, nannying for. I take baby to hospital because his penis grew too big for his diaper or underwear. Boy finds a necklace which tells a huge secret. Actually he finds two. His father is supposed to tell him, so I wait until his father can. His father works in an office which is very removed from the rest of the house, in a secret door. I find out later the room has been part of the main office the whole time, just down a corridor and into the room, shaped like an L the long corridor is where the secret door opens, I didn't noticed I joined the main office before, he overhears about the boy finding the necklaces and takes him to his office. The father looks Asian, as do the boys, but he reminds me of John ( my father.) ~ I buy many many books to explain sex to my children. Afterwords I contemplate having children. I think if I had children I might have them raised by nannies. I don't want or like children. But then I realize they would do whatever they want, be someone I wouldn't approve of. I want to control their beliefs, make sure they don't believe in the wrong thing. I buy bibles, a Bible each time I buy these books. Each time I buy different books but I buy a Bible too. It's three different time lines I do this. I don't want them believing the Bible though, its just to explain sex. I worry they might take up it's beliefs anyway and I wonder what to do. ~ I'm at the mall. I'm wearing some dirty pastel awful outfit, maybe a furry short cape in a pastel purple and everything is just terrible, gauche, and clashing. I enter a store full of pastel things and a woman with a fake smile marvels over my outfit. When I tell her I hate it she switches her opinion and agrees its terrible. She tries to sell me colorful fans. Both are too pastel and girly for me, one is made of fake sunflowers. I ask her if she has anything Gothic or in black, she looks at me blankly. I say Halloween and she shows me a very very small section with hello kitty Halloween stuff. It looks nice for all of a second when I realize it's all poorly made party favors and barely worth a dollar each but marked $6.99. ~ I'm interrogated over something, police try and find me suspicious over the stuff I bought for that cage. It was for a pet, I think, and eventually they figure it out. There are glitter pens I include in the binder care package.