cheyenne

Date: 11/27/2017

take the bus every day to schoolwork place. Cheyenne is there for me every day, first she is nervous and attentive. but she gets comfortable playing pool with girls she knows up in the upper left. stops really paying attention. on the bus, pass lots of houses. normal houses at first, one of those is the witch house. they have huge pentacle banners hanging up. at schoolwork it is my stepmother’s birthday. i suggest that for her birthday, she should get her nails redone. this is meant as a joke, but everyone is insulted at me. I try to find Desiree Schulz. She will get it. But I only see her from afar. Cheyenne won’t stick up for me, because she has no idea what is happening. I feel small. On the bus. Listening to a podcast, passing really large houses in the woods. The host asks the guest woman how often she practices sacred shamanic rituals. she hems and haws. turns out she is doing a bunch of rites on Thursdays for money, but that’s it. And they aren’t very sacred, and shouldn’t be called shamanic The host tells her that’s what is wrong. i am wearing an orange bathing suit and pants or shorts. i go up to see Cheyenne. She finally breaks away from these girls and is very masculine. Hair shaved close on the sides, and short on top with a long braided, pastel colored braid in the back. she also has a small goatee, a black upside down triangle. she grabs me and makes some sexual remark and roughly grabs at my crotch. i explain that i am wearing a bathing suit. she becomes disinterested and goes back to the other girls. i feel rejected. go down to schoolwork, which is a big real estate office. The realtors have to hang doortags when out walking, but they have to pay for them. i talk to one lady about what a scam it is. i can see Chey up there playing pool with girls hanging off her. She kisses me passionately, and I feel better because everyone sees. But she goes right back to the girls. on the bus, cheyenne sits in front of me. her braided tail is several braids all braided and tangled together. i pick at it and stRt it unravelling but don’t tell her and hope she doesn’t notice. at workschiol. peopke are mad because damian was sick and pooped in the woods. i am trying to deal with that. Heather’s car is in the parkibg lot. It is the only one. Night is falling and fog’s crept in. She lost a $1500 ticket. we run back to schoolwork. we are late. the door’s already locked. but Chey and the others are locked in. I am anxious and worried. but those people didn’t even realize they were locked in. I desperately search for Cheyenne. She seems unphased, and my mom starts talking to her asking friendly questions. i say “ couldn’t you at least let me talk to her first?” they both make fun of me for making such a rule, not realizing or caring how much it had meant to me. i am sitting down, feeling very small and sad as they laugh and callously joke at my expense.