I was outside in the middle of winter. I took periodical showers while out there to make sure my hair looked good. It was my actual hair here, ink black and short bob, my most recent hair cut. It looks best when allowed to air dry. I actually remember looking in the mirror, outside in the winter snow, and thinking I looked like snow white. My skin was pale enough to match the landscape. My lips were deliberate smudged Ruby. I couldn't get near the castle but I could see it. Every morning this redhead would climb out a window and stand along the edge of the castle and present her notes on the morning meeting. She always headed it with the best staff member of the day, once it was Gina, twice it was Nina. I was doing this community service high school thing at a local hospital. It was a local thing, I was among high schoolers and murders, they only had one community service in the whole town. High schoolers got experience in a hospital and lawbreakers got the chance to change. Or just were worked a bit until they got bored and offended again. I began and instructions on what to do were a little sketchy. One old lady talked about memories and how people come and go and what they leave behind crumbles away. It was in specific reference to these decorations every volunteer/criminal made when they came in. I saw someone I had dreamed about before. They were also doing community service. And a guy who was a little dumb and kept accidentally shooting his gun, the police officer on hand had to remind him not to. It was a very small bullet, so the gun didn't seem so dangerous or scary. We got very little to eat. Or well maybe we got enough but I was always hungry. The food was so disgusting and it wasn't Vegan. I felt like I was starving. I ate mine, and some blonde high-school girl gave me her second plate. We were all allowed second plates but I could only eat the mashed potatoes from mine. The rest wasn't not vegan and looked disgusting. It also made you sick if you ate it. Well, the high school girl said she had been eating it for 15 years and she looked amazing so maybe not. I felt it would make me thoroughly sick to ingest tho, even if I ate meat it wasn't good quality. She was very nice, about 15 or 16, blonde, pretty, and very smart. I kinda liked her romantically but I was in my own high-school body and back then I was shyer than a door mouse. We were forced to listen to a radio while eating lunch, it read poems like they were songs on it. Some of the poems were what volunteers/criminals had written each time they completed service. Astonishingly they were all a very talented bunch. I didn't listen because the poems were so sad they made me cry. Some of the poems were by famous people who had all done community service there. It seems like everyone was forced to volunteer or do community service there once in their life. Suddenly it came announced on the radio that a criminal doing community service killed a volunteer while on duty. He drowned him in a fish tank. Everyone was upset because the one murdered was the beloved son of the chef at the diner/cafeteria. The murderer was also the son of a murderer. They were quick to villainize. While they were having a press conference I went in spirit to the scene, at first I was watching it on TV then I went in spirit to see and I was shown what really happened. I became the one murdered, he wanted to show me what really happened and I agreed. He fell in love with the murderer and the murderer with him and they ended up fucking on the clean floor. So I was a gay man for a minute, but the sex as it happened became abstract and then only shown in impressions and colors and emotions, like an abstract watercolor painting that moved. The murderer was hard and angry and closed off but opened up, emotionally vulnerable and finally trusting, the sex was less important than the breakthrough they both had emotionally. I assumed what happened next would be a misunderstanding or even some assisted suicide thing but I never got to see it. I am suddenly fast forward many years and either I am 30 something and married with a few 6 year olds or I am one of those six year olds. My mother is the redhead, sometimes i am the redhead. She asks me to use magic to find her son, my brother, who ran away. She tells my little brother to not tell any strangers who come to the door about her smile, that it makes them think less of her ass. Like this was sage advice for leaving a three year old home alone. He nodded like this was usual. Then she takes a skull head out of my backpack, a little kids backpack, and hands it to me. It was clearly mine. It had 5 eye sockets with smaller skulls lodged there which were soft and brown, like it was an alien skull, and I placed my fingers there like I had always done. It was obvious I was doing voodoo, and I spoke some guttural language which summoned something and opened a portal. The demonic sound of the language did disconcert me, for a second I got scared and wanted to stop, but I persisted and led them into another world. This world was also frozen into winter, except the winter snow and ice felt like walking on white and silver glitter Christmas tree ornaments. It was so beautiful and cold and quiet like true winter however. And in the distance the laugh of a little boy could be heard. The redhead and her husband moved faster toward the sound and we spied a little boy in the distant clearing running around in the snow laughing happily.