Destroying old collections 📦📦📦📦

Date: 4/4/2019

This is another version of the old recurring dream, I had a similar one yesterday but this was bigger and more decisive. I feel like it is a meaningful one… 🖼 It starts with Lisa lending me a photo album for some reason and I manage to lose it. It’s special and she’s quite upset that I’ve lost it, so I’m searching and searching for it amongst storage of my possessions. I also manage to lose another one of hers at some point and I feel terrible, I really don’t know what I’ve done with it. But I do discover amongst the storage all these things that I have no idea why I’ve kept… Collections of odd things. 💦👓 At some point there is also a flood, but I don’t see the significance of that and it subsides. That was when I was looking for the photo albums. And then there is a man whose collection of possessions is next to mine and we overlap a bit, he is doing some sort of work and manages to melt the arm of my glasses with a soldering iron, so they don’t fit properly! He also knocks over some pots of things, seems to be loads of shells and a lot of them get crushed, I’m quite upset and he gathers them up and we try and collect them into different pots again. But I’m wondering why I’m doing this because they are crushed – and anyway they weren’t that special. At the other end of my collection of things (by now the place we are in seems like a warehouse and there are lots of other people there) I let someone look at some of my records and he just tosses them back after taking them out and looking at them without replacing them into their sleeves so it’s likely they’ll be damaged, some of them fall to the floor in inaccessible places. I’m annoyed at this – someone else does the same thing, and those records are precious to me. I do think how could they be so thoughtless, but I have to not mind and let those things go 😡Next I’m aware that next to me there seem to be a load of people of a certain intolerant religion and they are gathering a lot of things up and I realise they won’t be happy about the records. The atmosphere is starting to get a bit threatening. I move around to other racks of my things and discover all these collections of different things made of plastic – like lids and old toothbrushes, collected long ago and I’m wondering why I collected them – maybe for recycling, but you can’t recycle those things. I think to myself well maybe I should keep them until they can be recycled, but I don’t want to keep all these useless things. Then some of the religious people have come and are going through these things themselves – and I think well never mind they can have them. 📦 But then things to take an unpleasant turn and they are going through absolutely everything of mine, even things I value greatly and destroying them. For some reason I’m now viewing things from above, and someone is with me and I am devastated because the religious people are tossing into the water beautiful wooden sculptures that are from my grandparents (some look a little sinister like dragons and I’m surprised about that) although part of me is saying well never mind I don’t need those… But obviously there are things going that I can’t replace and the person who is with me tells me I need to just grieve and I scream and scream. After that it seems to be the religious people have taken over the whole place in the area, outside the warehouse as well as inside and I go out and it’s terrifying what they’ve done, v sinister. 🤔 I think the significant part is that all these old possessions have been found and many of them I don’t know why I’ve kept, and they are being destroyed and dispatched. I find it painful but part of me realises it needs to be done. What are these things? I don’t think they’re really about possessions in my life, it’s something else… I need to ask God what they are... what needs getting rid of? Or is it about old habits and old ways pre-my illness? Is it about dispatching the illness? Or about getting rid of habits that I’ve gained since I’ve been ill? Because it’s been so many years they’ve almost become a part of me and I don’t know how to live without them? Even though I don’t want them at all... but they help me to keep safe. But maybe I don’t need them anymore? Maybe more healing has happened than I realise?