I wish I could wake up

Date: 8/13/2020

Nothing is matter anymore. This is not a dream actually. I just don't have anyone to tell my problem. So I use this platform since nobody gonna read this. Well been 5 months I lost job.. firstly my final year project got destroyed. And lost job after graduate. And I was extremely depressed and got no money to pay bills. But then I stand up and got new job.. it was fine at first but my boss didn't pay me.. been many months.. but then hits covid breakdown.. my boss refused to pay me. From January till June.. then I found he blocked me everywhere. I couldn't contact him at all. I send messages but he ignored. I lose hope. Many bills I have to pay. I borrow money from family as well... But they didn't know I current unemployed. Now I haven't pay my house rent for straight 5 months and didn't eat proper meal... I can't even afford instant noodles. I always think about suicide and give up life. I apply many job but got rejected. I don't know what's wrong with my life. I got no money. I'm too depressed. Anyone please help me. I need help! If I have a chance I want a better life and repay to in need. I totally lost here. I don't know who to talk about this matter. Tired. So tired. Everymoment of my life overthink about life. I scared if I end up Killin myself. I can't make my family cry for me. People say good grade can make me better life but it was lies isn't it? I can't seem my life better... No more light to me... Anyone.. please help me. Anybody who could listen to me. 😟