Paralyzed

Date: 9/26/2016

Drank cherry juice, prayed the rosary, turned off electronics. All new things to try and keep the nightmares at bay, I'm not particularly religious but I'm willing to try anything. It wasn't long that I fell asleep and immediately was in a dream. I don't remember much, it was dark and fuzzy. I was falling down and I knew I wouldn't be able to move or speak any second so I jolted awake. Promptly scared, feeling paranoid, I turned my lamp on. I wanted to wake early and was still sleepy so I turned on my side facing the light and tried to drift off. Things get confusing. Before I could fall asleep I heard loud talking, yelling almost. My mom and brother. I was still laying down but felt any second it would set in again. I panicked and before I had the chance to sit up like I intended to, I was hit with a head rush. A prickling, light headedness that I can't really explain. I was instantly hit with such terror. I heard my brother yelling about popcorn and trying to open my door. He couldn't get in and no matter how hard I tried to yell for him to help me, to call my sister, the words wouldn't reach beyond my mind. I tried with all my might to move my fingers, anything at all, but couldn't. I couldn't breathe, it felt impossible to get a breathe in, I was hyper aware of each breath. I was panting, trying to get air in. I've never been so terrified and I've had horrible, vivid nightmares in the past. I was aware I wasn't dreaming, I thought everything happening was really happening though. Then suddenly it all just stopped. The house was dead silent, I could breathe and sit up again with ease. I listened to see why my family was awake still but it turns out they weren't. My brother had been asleep. I thought only minutes had passed since I first tried to fall asleep after praying but a glance at my phone told me it was over an hour. I can't tell what's real and what's a dream.