We Dream of Sadnesses

Date: 4/22/2017

I have a pet rabbit; it's fully grown. I'm on the floor of my apartment playing with it, with my roomate. We playfully have decided the room in half between us but it's not serious. The rabbit, however thinks he only belongs to me and is a bit Hostile to anyone else until we explain he is both our rabbit. Then he's fine with it. He is cream in color with brown and charcoal spots. He is also very smart and intelligent, and his body is more limber than I thought it would be. The rabbit's name is Yoga. ---- I'm sleeping in a new house I built. My new room is finally done, all browns and there is this cool blue funky lamp by my bed, it's actually in my bed, but hanging from the side which comes up. I'm tired and I keep falling asleep, and waking up to a noise in the lamp. It keeps rattling. In my sleepy haze I shake it a couple times and there is a mouse once, which I make disappear, and something else. But i am still asleep and I never wake fully to what it is until it shakes really hard. I jolt awake and peer inside the lamp. There is a huge rat. It's really big. Normally I wouldn't mind rats but this was a sewer rat and in my lamp in my bed. I shake the lamp into the grate and find out the problem. The heating grate on the first floor I had removed it and moved it to the third and forgot to replace it. I moved it back to keep the rat at bay. -- There are dead people in picture frames. Well the picture frames and shelves on the wall and I think even the furniture in this room are representations of people who have passed away. I am devastated, mostly because the ones hanging on the wall were dead a few days and I didn't notice. Their corpses were hung on the wall like the spine bone structure and i never knew they were dead. Finally I did notice and I'm packing them away, the cleaning lady is outside my room and ready to take the garage. I'm cleaning as well, using bleach, but I'm just too sad. Finally I ask her to do it. It's her job but I've been doing it because I wanted to do it myself. But she does come in at my request and takes down the shelves and all the pictures, boxes up the in table and stuff. Then she bleaches the walls and everything. I get the impression from her she's well I feel she is mean, she has this pinched face and her entire air is all about haughty disapproval and control. She feels more like my jailer than my cleaning lady. ---- I keep having to rebuild my body. Everytime I have new body they pair me with someone (romantically) and then i have to take apart my body and rebuild it and do it again. I'm not sure why maybe it's procreation. It's disconcerting to have your body in pieces beneath you. My conscienceness remains looking down from above my head area, and I see the body in several stages, like skeletal structures and stuff being built. The only catch is the body isn't organic, it's metallic. This is a machine body. Finally they pair me with the wrong person. I'm paired with this red guy, who is a conspiracy theorist. He is so charismatic I actually like him. I follow him and we escape, out into the world on the surface. But they find him and kill him and kidnap me and take me back. --- I make a decision to let something go(let go of trying to escape?!) , and a voice of a thoughtform says 'good girl'. I'm suspicious suddenly and I search for the thoughtform before grabbing it by its tail and shaking it, demanding answers. It doesn't answer so I trap it in a cage of my anger and frustration and thrown it into the fake sun.