Zayn Malik Is Kinky

Date: 2/6/2019

I was at Disneyland on a class trip, and from behind the bushes I spotted former One Direction member Zayn Malik. He was watching me, and I knew it. Everywhere I went he was there too. He finally approached me and asked me to go to a secluded area with him. I agreed- I don’t know why. He brought me into a little patch of bushes and immediately threw himself on top of me. He kissed me, and asked me to be in a three some with him and Taylor Swift. I said yes, and things started to get pretty heated; Taylor Swift came out, they put on a little strip tease, and Zayn even asked me to wear something for him- a pair of thigh-high red rubber boots. As soon as he pulled those out I remembered I was getting married the next day to one of the members of the kpop group EXO. I said no and left the bushes, but no matter where I went, Zayn was always following me and holding up those red rubber boots, swinging them backward and forward like a pendulum. I can’t look at Zayn or rubber boots the same.